Day 016

#100Days

Being hard on yourself

How much can we accomplish? What makes sense seeking?

Are the true answers to those question always "calls from within"? In the sense that some people have it clear, and some others are just unaware of?

What would it take to someone to open up and start listening to the voice of the heart?
How many layers must be crossed, disassembled, or what not, in order to allow that voice to be heard, to flowrish, to inspire?

Maybe those are all very subjective values, and they change from person to person (which would make it quite challenging to come up with an answer that would help everyone).

How is that related to being hard on yourself?

I think that I set too many and too high expectations on myself. Of course listening and following the wishes of my heart also fit in the category of things I expect myself to be doing flawlessly. Being flawless brings a sense of security and confidence. It would feel like I can be subjected to any kind of test, and I shouldn't worry because I would pass on it effortlessly.

I really don't know where this idea came from, but it's quite an old one. Very fictional too, right? Like the heroes in stories that can face difficulties and get away successfully without suffering or struggling too much. Of course they struggle a bit, (some drama is needed, right?) but due to their skillset, they end up winnig.

Ok, there is the Hero Archetype, and I probably borrowed it and use it on a daily basis in my life.

There is also the fear of failing and the fear of coming to an end. Failing a test means a fictional "end" of something unclear but somehow still threatening. The "End" itself is also not clear and an abstraction, it only gets clear when applied to some context.

Focusing on perfection and enforcing it at all times doesn't seems to be a feasible achievement. Now that I'm writing about it I can see that flaws only exists in systems poorly designed. That can indicate I'm looking after some sort of "perfect design" that is not including everything (and thus leaves room for flaws).

The idea of being approved in a certain scenario means only that the fit for that ruleset has been matched. This is very circumstantial, and should never be taken as eternal truth.

Making mistakes is a great way to learn, people just need to understant that it is ok to make them. We should also be polite and understanding, and not retaliate our peers when they make mistakes. This would enable a greater safe space for everyone to learn and develop further. But we all need to understand that retaliating or overreacting does not help creating such an environment.

Ego is the main enemy we must figth against in these cases.

When you regret something you did, it's because you understand that it was a mistake, and that mistake created something bad. Embrace that regret, and learn from it.

There you have a very good source of learning. So don't be so hard on yourself :)