Looper

#100Days The last day, here is some feedback and wrap up of how this experience was. I've found out that I love writing. I've also understood in a very deep level how important it is and how helpful it can be, if a person knows how to use it properly. In particular, the therapeutic writing is very and deeply transformative. I've also noticed that the pace is not always continuous, and in some days the creativity stream is simply not there. I've learned too, that taking the time to write is ...

#100Days Natural body needs How to handle some of our natural body needs? Specially the sexual ones, which I think are the most difficult to handle. Food related were possible to deal with. I verified it through the intermitent fasting. It was not easy, it required some good effort, but it was surely possible. Maybe sexual related ones can be handled exactly the same way: some sort of conscious fasting. After all, it's tied to another set of desires, summed up with some basic needs - just li...

#100Days During my lifetime I've met many different kind of people, just like you did. Since I consider myself a somewhat spiritualized person, spirituality and religion were always topics of interest for me. I have tried many different religions over my lifetime. I've also read a lot about spirituality in general, in its many faces. It was a good experience overall, but it was also very hard to find my spot. I'm not sure if found it already. For many times I have felt like I found my spot....

#100Days Life Sync "You managed to destroy the good feelings I had for you" It sounds like something bad, mean, or harmful that a person could do to another, but if you pause for a moment and think about it, you might be able to see that the "bad person" in that scenario is actually shedding some light into a dark room inside it's partner's consciousness. Of course it would bring some sort of discomfort, or even rage. That's expected. But I believe that when someone is taking oneself seri...

#100Days Beating the Overthinking habit Overthinking was never practical. But it also didn't have a name until modern times. Ok, I didn't do any exhaustive research, I'm assuming that based on current readings from what an average human (like me) is exposed to, while surfing the web. Considering the worker mindset discussed earlier, we can use the behaviour of always looking for improvement and never establishing metrics to measure achievements. This is a good example of what overthinking is:...

#100Days Availability and the sense of commitment When you want to find something in your life that feels important to you, please make sure you are also aware of the availability you have to commit to it. I mean it in a healthy way. I'm not doubting your ability to commit to something. I'm referring to that fact that you should acknowledge and be aware that the commitment you take will surely demand some energy from you. Despite the fact that you may recognise that in fact you are wishing f...

#100Days Desire I want you In you I see beauty, strength, hapiness I think you misunderstand me I think you're assuming that I am something different than I am That I feel things other than the ones I feel We do have different backgrounds, yes And we've been biased by them You assume my ways of expressing myself Are saying exactly what you read But you never ask me You never verify You just assume Why don't you come closer to me? Why don't you try to find me? Yes, I am shy, I'm shy in fr...

#100Days Self Respect Ok, this one is still a learning subject. I understand what it means, but I'm currently learning how to apply it in difficult situations, e. g. when you like someone. When you're in that state, it's usually very easy to allow some unwanted things to slip in. It's a trade we make in order to achieve some sort of "greater good". And we're usually convinced that it's worthy to do so - at least for that person - because we like them. I've noticed that these unwanted element...

#100Days Self Love For a long time I've been hearing about it without having a clear understanding on how to do it. How can one love oneself? I think this question is like those questions that are obvious to those know the answer and mysterious to those who do not. After a few experiences and some analysis I tried to improve my understanding of this thing I call love, and tried to observe it in a few past situations of my life. One of these that really helped me to understand was regarding ...

#100Days Days off It has been a long time since I took my last days off. Technically I took them in the last year, dissolved in the last weeks of 2020. Not a big batch of days off, but some Fridays off instead. I would not recommend you to do that. You get used to the new routine after a while and soon enough you're again stressed out. This pattern did not helped me disconnect. But this week I took it completely off, and with the intention of not doing anything on purpose. That was the mos...

#100Days The worker mindset, last part I think that the topic has been relatively exhausted. There is not much left to say about it. I've been thinking about it for a while now, and it feels like I've managed to clarify all the ways I usually enter in that state of mind that would lead me to exhaustion. From now on it is important to develop the perception that will allow me to stop the automatic flow of attention and focus on distracting activities. This is actually one of the greatest chal...

#100Days Being reasonable about your goals and metrics Don't overthink it. Don't over do it. Take a simpler approach for your own mental health's sake. The world is getting crazier in an accelerating pace, and we all feel that struggle to catch up and stay up to date. For people like me, it is very easy to start a lot of different small tasks and get lost in them. The world is so fascinating, so full of interesting things. But if I don't take the proper care, I can easily get overburned, st...

#100Days Caring too much for you own sake This comes from the previous post, and today I'll try to find a decent solution to the problem. The problem is to overthink your goal setting skills because you can't find a point of satisfaction, a point where you would say that you are satisfied and can stop the search, a point you can clearly recognize that you have achieved what you were looking for. I had hard times to establish or recognise this spot for many years, and in many different circum...

#100Days Done with the metrics and the goal setting for a worker mindset. So what now? Now it is time to look for realistic goals that are measurable and achievable in a reasonable amount of time and effort (from your personal perspective, of course). Again I have the feeling that it sounds too obvious to the average human. It feels weird sometimes to notice that I've struggled so much with things like this, something that is quite common to most people and that most people do not struggle ...

#100Days Being a Worker and dedicating your life to your job Well, if you have the metrics we spoke about, then you can easily measure and understand your own growth. But today I'd like to point to another direction, and shed some light for people like me, who do not come up with, or do not manage to use, metrics in their efforts of becoming a "good worker". Having metrics also mean that you have a plan, that you have thougth about the things you want to build or do in your life. If you have...

#100Days The worker mindset, part II Today I'd like to discuss where this thought and behavioural pattern that I'm calling Worker Mindset is useful. I've used it for years and I feel quite familiar with it. It was just recently that I figured it that this pattern is not always helpful or efficient in every case. It has been actually useless to most things I expected it not to be. Ok, but are there contexts where this mindset makes sense? Yes, I think so. I think it makes sense, for example,...

#100Days The worker mindset, part I This might be the beginning of a series about the Worker Mindset. I started writing about it in my previous post, and I intent to continue developing the idea further. It might not be that long, but I'll focus on that for the time being. In summary, the idea is that a person that holds this kind of mindset will adopt values that are mostly unachievable. These kind of values are usually things people would like to hold as a practice, but not a goal. Goals ...

#100Days Being too good for your own sake I'm one of these folks who tries to give my best, wherever I am (maybe I better say that I was such a kind of person. I've been through changes). It can be work related, relationship, family, whatever. I always tried to make my best efforts to have everyone's needs satisfied. Only then I'd look for my own needs. That's not a healthy approach. Today I know that, but for years in my life that was the truth and the base of my deepest beliefs related to ...

#100Days Hate How much hate I feel. That is a bit of a sick post, but I had to go throught it in order to process, understand and expel it from my body. I've always felt a lot of hate in my life, and that gave me strength to continue living and coping with the situations I had to face. Hate gave me a feeling of power. I felt empowered by it. The catch here is that hate is not the optimal state of mind because it still opens doors for exploitation. A person who is hateful can be easily trigge...

#100Days Today again I feel empty and out of inspiration or ideas. I do have topics to work on in the long term, but today I did not have all the time I need to do it. But I lived today, and it was a nice day, I did good things, didn't overcommit, didn't waste time, enjoyed the little things, saw beauty, felt love, ate good food, hydrated the body, was honest with my peers, loved them back, found and felt some good chunks of peace in my heart. That's already a lot to be grateful for :D It was...

#100Days Misfits I was always fascinated by this word, even before fully undertanding its meaning, seeing much of it's applications, or even watching the TV show named afterwards. Unfortunately I didn't watched the series to its end. The way the characters were introduced and their stories (before meeting each other in the series) was a bit dark, they got involved into situations that went wrong, and they ended up having to spend time in public service to pay for the debts they were input by ...

#100Days Cheer you up Things look a lot easier now that you have considered the possibility that you have a disease that you were not aware of. Everyone may have felt weird close to you, but they would never talk about it, because of that awkward feeling that would rise up if they did. Or maybe because they are not fully aware if you are the weirdo or if they just didn't understand you properly (they'll actually rarely consider the latter). But you did good all those years, you never gave up...

#100Days Do more of the things you like Since yesterday I started to get back to this state of focus where you look more into yourself. It is like taking good care of the inner child, listening to it, and becoming more accountable for the things you do (because they all affect the inner child to some degree). I was back in that state, but somehow started missing the focus. I think it might be related to the introduction of new routines or activities at work. That kinda helped me to get someho...

#100Days Self care Today I noticed I never took any kind of Self Care concept seriously enough. Fuck! I've found myself today saying outloud that I realized how important I find it to dedicate time for myself. And I meant really good amount of best quality time I can provide (because I understood its importance). It felt so arrogant from my side at that moment, I even felt disgusted about this person I am... just because I was asking for some space? That's absurd! That made me pause for a...

#100Days A day to calm down and put some shit together. I don't want to keep this set of texts as a journal only. I would like to enrich it with slightly deeper pieces of text, approaching some slightly deeper topics, without starting a long discussion or a bigger text that would consume too much of my or your time. So I always try to keep it short, while also keeping it somehow relevant or interesting. So today I met a friend and we had lunch together, it was some nice and relaxed time that...

#100Days Today I had to cope with the outcomes of some decisions I made. I was also making them based on some values that I believe would grant me some security or appreciation. These are not really my truest, deepest needs, values, or interests. To be honest, I would really like to explore some other regions, but I do understand (or at least think so), that I should provide some support for the people around me. I mean, it is at least fair, since I do get support from my peers. Retributing ...

#100Days Feeling powerful / empowered Create some safe space to yourself by facing and acknowledging your weaknesses. That will open you up for receiving criticism, it will open your eyes and make you brave enough to face the truth about yourself. That makes you empowered. From this position of someone who faced its own truth, you become invincible. There are no unknown weaknesses or flaws to be exploited. The ones that exist have been seen and acknowledged, and left open by choice. But you'r...

#100Days Goals Today I decided to focus again on the other texts I'm writing with more dedication, not the usual daily braindump. As a note for my future self, if it ever comes back to check this text, let me add that these days have been tough on me but I'm still making efforts to live and fight them one by one. Good things are also happenning, and the will of facing the challenges life is bringing is helping a lot. Negative self-talk, is still a thing; a weaker than before but still presen...

#100Days The Fabric of the Self Identifying the fabric of your self enables you to get closer to what you are. It is ok to be who you are, find that fabric and nurture it. It doesn't matter how long have you been out of sync, but the sooner you connect the happier you will be. Got the inspiration from this video a few days ago, and started focusing on identifying and applying that to me. Today I think I'm starting to harvest the very first outcomes of it :D Try that out too. I wish you succ...

#100Days Parallelize Started to notice the increased amount of interests for building up knowledge, career, personal matters, etc. It is important to have some consistency and stick to a plan, specially when it comes to the long term ones. At the same time, one must take extra care not to overwhelm oneself with a volume of commitments that are harder - if feasible - to achieve and maintain. So here is the point where I stand now: I am collecting a set of learning skills, and I am quite excit...