Day 083

#100Days

Being too good for your own sake

I'm one of these folks who tries to give my best, wherever I am (maybe I better say that I was such a kind of person. I've been through changes).

It can be work related, relationship, family, whatever. I always tried to make my best efforts to have everyone's needs satisfied. Only then I'd look for my own needs. That's not a healthy approach.

Today I know that, but for years in my life that was the truth and the base of my deepest beliefs related to my sense of identity. Today, when I look at that, I think that it is quite fucked up.

Well, based on that value set, I made a lot of decisions in my life. A big amount of them were never made taking me (or my own good) as a priority. The worst part of it was that I was the only one to understand and see that. I failed to communicate that to my peers almost every time. I was trying to be a good person, but I was not watching myself up.

Luckily today I can see that a bit clearer, and I try to communicate that also clearer to my peers. There is still a lot of room for improvement, but I can already see the flaws that were previously invisible to me. I still willing to be a good person and to do good to others, but I have improved the communication skills and today people understand my intentions better (or at least I think so xD).

This is all part of a mindset. I have been looking into this structure for a few days now, and I'll be writing about it in the next posts.