Day 088

#100Days

Caring too much for you own sake

This comes from the previous post, and today I'll try to find a decent solution to the problem.

The problem is to overthink your goal setting skills because you can't find a point of satisfaction, a point where you would say that you are satisfied and can stop the search, a point you can clearly recognize that you have achieved what you were looking for.

I had hard times to establish or recognise this spot for many years, and in many different circumstances of my life. It feels like I've been chasing ghosts for ages!

Maybe that is a good way to look at it, a good label to refer to those unachievable ideas I use to feed.
They have diminished lately, but I try to stay as aware as possible, so I prevent myseld from falling asleep again, in regards of setting unachievable goals again.

It gets a lot easier to achieve goals when you have a clear idea of where you want to go. And for some reason I always struggled with that. I used to hold this idea of a promised land, that would cost me years to get. Years of blind dedication and a strong belief that should be held at all costs. I did it for too long already, and I didn't feel all the happiness of a fulfilling life that I expected to have find.

Ok, holding expectations can open the door for frustrations to enter. I did that and I see that it works indeed. I delayed my learnings because I insisted onto holding my beliefs longer than the average person. I did that because I believed that it would show resilience, and this resilience would increase my value as an honorable person.

I'm not sure if it indeed increased it, specially because I have no metrics to verify that. That's me not being reasonable once more.

And it seems that I have found a topic for the next text :D