No.3 - Junior year

When I am asked which year of high school I like the most so far, I always say "My junior year was the best year," and also say, quite ironically, "My junior year was the hardest year." Why do I say two such conflicting things?

Junior year, by far, gave me the most amount of work all my life. And this is solely because I simply put too much on my plate, with the "fuck it, we ball," mentality. A friend of mine always says that school is just a huge casino where you gamble whether you can stay locked in until the end of the year before getting burnt out while the grades actually matter (pre AP season).

I keep telling all my junior friends that it will "hit" in March. In my personal experience, everyone around me's burnout hit in March. Having such a rigorous schedule in an academically toxic, competitive place such as the Bay Area, I think my friends and I were all just so ready to get out of school and hop into summer.

During the first semester, all I had to focus on were school work, school programs, and competition math. This even got better after AMC ended - which I actually got some satisfactory results out of 2023 AMC 12s - as I only had to lock in for school work I had. This is when I didn't really understand why everyone talks about how "junior year is the hardest year of all four high school years." Indeed, I had some busy weeks where I had so many tests yet couldn't appeal any of them because my schedule didn't align with the test appeal requirements; but it was not as hard as I thought. Besides, ever since high school started, I always tried to maintain the least amount of stress for myself.

But as the year progressed and the content got harder for my classes, the "junioritis" started to hit. As I made lots of senior friends through ISS Research Lab and other programs, I slowly witnessed my friends lock out of school as they received their college admissions letters. This gave me so much hope yet reality check that I am not one of them to celebrate, but I am the one to sweat so that I can be in their position in a year. Moreover, working on various projects (I was in progress - which I still am - of the discussion group I am a part of from a professor that I got to meet through cold emailing and was in progress of writing a research paper as I worked on the first one to get published), while working on applications for summer programs (which I had to solve math problems for two (2) of the only summer camps I applied to last year), while studying for the challenging classes I took last year. Of course, I was the one that signed myself up for all these activities, but the burn out was real.

Somehow, I got to be a part of a small friend group of seniors and two (2) juniors including me. We went out to hang out quite frequently, often going to karaoke or malls to go around. Because we had one of them that could drive all of us around legally, we basically had no limits of where we went. One time, we went to a trampoline park, impulsively went ice skating, then got Wingstop, only to end up again at a karaoke place.

The contrast between at home and school/outside was very distinct for me during junior year second semester. At home, I would focus hard so I didn't fail my AP Chemistry or Multivariable Calculus, and sometimes AP Physics 1. But this was only to hang out with my friends again after work. Knowing that I could finish any of my homework within an hour if I was fully focused, I finished all my work either at school or the moment I got back from school. What a healthy work mindset! Except this went downhill later on.

I got addicted to League of Legends once again. First time it was during 10th to 11th grade summer, where I had nothing to do but math in Korea. All I did that summer was math, going out myself (no friends in Korea moment), and play League of Legends or Roblox with my friends while calling on Discord. Then I quit the moment summer ended. It wasn't intended, but I just naturally come to realize that playing games isn't as fun if you are not good at the game.

One other thing I picked up during my 10th to 11th grade summer was becoming an LCK watcher. Watching T1 eventually beat all 4 seeds of LPL at the 2023 World Championships sparked the interest in PLAYING (not watching) League in me again. Therefore I got back to playing League of Legends. This time, unlike last time I got addicted where I only had one friend to play the game with, I dragged more of my friends - especially those senior ones - into League. I definitely got much friendships out of this but at the same time, I developed a really bad sleep schedule. I would either cram or procrastinate all my work and play league from 11pm to 3am then study after, only giving me maybe 3 to 4 hours of sleep everyday.

Having said all these fun stuff from my junior year, I have no idea how I would've ended up if I didn't go out with my friends, or spent time just goofing off with them either in person or online. I know for sure that I am a person that cannot do work 24/7 that is always locked in. I know that I require lots of breaks in between, or else I most likely will just stop functioning correctly, which definitely has happened to me before.

Overall, though it was very hard for me to get over, I think having very good friends around me helped me a lot in my junior year.

Maybe some tips will help if any current juniors are reading right now;

1. Lock in, but never forget to take breaks.
2. VERY IMPORTANT!! - Talk to your friends often and check on them often too. Don't be like "ehh we never do this this is cringe" and procrastinate on doing this
3. Talk to your family often - they are your d1 supporters (or I hope so).
4. Don't feel guilty from resting.
5. Sleep is important.
6. Nontoxic friendships are very important; if you don't feel comfortable around your current friends, try to distance yourself away from them and maybe look for a new friend group (may or may not help, no guarantees).

I know we are in high school and it's all about competing against the people around you to get into top colleges but the real question is, "Is this really all worth??" Learning what to be your priority is very important at this time!!

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I definitely had more stuff going on in junior year but I am not too sure if I a) got enough time to talk about all that, b) got enough energy to talk about all that, and c) am comfortable enough to talk about it on a public online space where anyone can see. So I'll keep that story for later.

sorry I fell asleep yesterday oops posted a little late
3/100 days