No.2 - Friends

My mom often tells me that I prioritize my friends over my anything: including academics, goals, or sometimes even family. But every time this topic is brought up, I can't even argue back saying, "No, I have my own priorities and friends are definitely not on the top of the list, of course I would put myself on the top priority." Is this because it is true that I value my friends so much that I could do anything for them?

There a popular phrase that parents frequently say: "Would you jump off the cliff if your friend told you to?". No, mother, I would not. Now that is a little extreme. However, I would definitely consider doing it if it was something like skydiving or some sort of extreme experience that I probably only have once or twice chance in my entire life.

I wonder when, where, and how this "d1 friendship glazing" started.

Back in Korea, I went to an undeniably nice private elementary school that was 30-40 minutes away from my house. Despite being very young, my elementary school days definitely shaped me a lot as a human. My school provided lots of opportunities for the students - we had countless amount of after school programs. (I actually first got the chance to experience robotics in elementary school. It was at an after school program that was basically VEX Robotics.) The classes we took were very advanced in a sense how they were looking into the future. Every students, from 1st grade to 6th grade, took computer classes all 6 years (Korea has a 6-3-3 system), where we learned basic coding such as block coding and scratch, basic photoshop, 3D CAD where we actually got to print our projects, and other general usages of computers. We were sent to lots of friend trips; every year, we had a field trip for each season, therefore 4 field trips a year. Moreover, starting 4th grade, we went to days long trips (forgot where we went in 4th grade, Jeju Island in 5th grade, and Japan - Osaka, Kyoto, and Nara - in 6th grade).

So basically, we were given lots of learning opportunities with diverse experiences.

But one thing was clear at this school. I had no friends to hang out with around my neighborhood. Well, I had maybe like two (2) to hang out with, but due to the academically toxic Korean community, I was sent to hakwons* from 4-10 everyday after school. Then ice hockey. Then swimming. And school work on top of that. I was totally not forced to do all this by the way!! I definitely did not argue with my parents on a daily basis on how toxic the math hakwon i went until 5th grade was and that I do not want to go there anymore!!
*Hakwons are after school classes Korean students go to learn more outside of school (usually for learning ahead so that they are set for later years)

Moving onto middle school, I went to a public middle school that was literally 10 minutes walk from my house. And what does this imply? All of my friends lived in the neighborhood I was in, meaning I only had more ways to hang out with my friends after school. I often was late or skipped my hakwons to hang out with my friends. I was chronically on my phone talking with my friends. School was just a place for me to socialize, rather than to learn, majorly because I already learned everything at my past hakwons, but also because I knew that I was moving to America in 3 months.

After I moved to the States, just around when I settled and made some friends, enjoying my life, Covid happened. Everything shut down and we were all trapped inside for a whole year and half. All I gained from this time was internet addiction, the ability to respond to people within milliseconds, and a messed up sleep schedule that eventually led to insomnia. But on the bright side, I made the majority of my friends now as well.

Other than JU, VY, and NY, I met all of my friends through a MInecraft server I played in 8th grade. Transitioning back to in person learning, I had to struggle through the pain of matching the online personalities with in real life personalities of my "friends".

Although all these friends were so academically toxic (only back in 9th grade, sorry guys it's just the sad truth), no one actually judged each other of what we do. We were already all FRC rejects (/j). We were already all sweaty nerds that sit in the same area near the counseling center. We were already all those crusty Minecraft players that were rotting online 24/7 with bad sleep schedules over Covid. Now, everyone is so much more chill and we are just waiting to be done with all the college applications to be set free. I don't know man, I'll do some friend group glazing in another blog post.

Anyway, this kind of went off topic. My point is that, because I had to switch around being able to hang out with my friends anytime and not being able to hang out with my friends anytime, I eventually learned that we can only have finite time together. I am very grateful that I was able to learn this earlier in my life. I am very glad I didn't have to regret about "not spending more time with my friends in high school" later when I graduate and contemplate life thinking whether "was it really worth all the sweat?". Although I may not be able to focus on my academics as much as other people who spend more time in studying, but I do know that I have more unforgettable memories with my beloved friends. By always trying to make myself available to my friends, I think I gained more experience and learned more by hanging out with my friends, rather than keeping myself distant (?) procrastinating my friendship bonding.

Tldr: maybe the real lessons were the friends we made along the way?

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This post feels incomplete, maybe I'll add later on.

2/100 days