No.9 - Why I started blogging

In the past two days (I started writing this a few days ago, so this is in perspective of beginning of this week), more people have been learning that I recently started writing a blog. I didn't intend to keep it private, but I also didn't mean to go around advertising my blog and telling everyone that I write a blog. However I did want more people to read it so I kept dropping "oh yeah that's why I started writing a blog," in the middle of college essay conversations (college application panic conversations are so stupid and pointless I hate it here)...

I've been hearing people say "oh this could literally be one of your essays," (totally not targeted towards LZ) or "wow this is a lot of words... approximately n number of college essay drafts that could have potentially been written..."

But I literally started writing blogs because:

1. I couldn't get my mind straight from different thoughts just floating around my head
   I think around the time I started writing blog posts, I had a 3.5 hour long conversation late at night with SX. It was mainly about recent concerns and other personal things, but talking about what was bothering me genuinely helped my mind to get cleared up so much. I recall us both fell asleep while texting around 1:30am, pulling up to school all tired and sleepy, but I felt much better about my situation in my life after that long late night conversation. On top of this, I remembered that LZ started blogging at PROMYS, and I also got reminded of AP's blog. So like... why not give it a shot?

2. I needed to log some thoughts for my essays
   I had so many ideas of what to write on the essays I will be writing in the future, but I was 100% sure I wouldn't be able to remember those after 10 minutes so I decided to write what I think in a blog. I think it's been helping? I was first kind of worried that I would run out of topics to write about but little did I know I have too much to write about. I was really underestimating my insane overthinking skills...

One thing I didn't expect to get out of this blog is that people actually talk to me about what I post. I didn't start blogging expecting to get comments on every post of mine. I appreciate that people find my posts somewhat relatable but whoever reading this please don't feel any obligation to do so just because I mentioned this!

I always want to talk about what I think but I never really like sharing my deep thoughts of feelings with others because I'm always like what if I'm saying something very not nice or healthy and make others disturbed (I swear this stems from my mom always being like "you can talk to me about anything" then use whatever I say as her argument against me later on). Maybe my blog is a huge subtweet towards some people/somethings. Who knows?

-

9/100 days