journal, day 4

1:29pm
Slept in. I think I dislike sleeping in more than I dislike going to bed. I miss out on the entire day and things I could be doing, it really bothers me. I don't like losing time for things I want to do at all. I really dislike not doing things. That's all sleeping is, it's the literal absence of activity. I don't like that.

7:26pm
Slept all day. I wasn't upset or anything. I just slept in the whole day.

7:40pm
I didn't talk to anyone all day. I don't think I'm upset. For one reason or another it just didn't seem worth doing. I just wanted sleep all day. Maybe, I will feel better if I sleep on time.

I don't really have a social battery type thing. I guess sometimes it's just better for me to be alone. I'm kind of tired of having so much to say with no one to really talk to. It causes me upset when no one talks to me, if I'm not online at all I won't really have that issue. But, I don't want to be alone and part of me still thinks it would just be easier.

I'm not really sure what to do. I really don't think I'm upset. Not angry or sad. Maybe, just general discontent. I don't think I'm gonna dwell on it, I would just make myself more upset at nothing. Maybe, I just dislike when there's nothing. That's probably why part of me is upset; Nothing Happened all day. I didn't busy myself with any tasks no matter how mind numbing.

I just did nothing. I didn't talk to anyone, or watch any videos. I hardly read my books or exercised or played any games. I didn't do anything but sleep, get my sister from school, and sleep some more.

I think I'm a lot happier sticking to my schedule. If I stick to my schedule, I have things to do.

8:32pm
I'm really bad at helping people, I don't really know when I'm pushing too much. It would probably be better for everyone if I stopped trying so so hard. I think I will stop being so pushy for now. I like helping but it's probably not as helpful as I think it is.

9:05pm
I might end up staying up all night because I slept all day. So, I'll have to stay up most of the day tomorrow, plus I have an interview. I think I'm gonna end this early tonight and just chill out.

3/1/22