vers

Crypto trader and writer of books, blogs and videos. This exists to dump my brain so you probably shouldn't read it.

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Day 6

This is the first day I'm experiencing some difficulty. My stress levels are up and since I decided to do No Nut November as opposed to a simple no fap, I'm beginning to experience a challenge.

From time to time, I go through stints where I choose to not masturbate until I can find a girl to have sex with--the magic of Tinder--but this is different because I also can't have casual sex to tame the urge. This is made even worse because I know there are several girls I can call up right now and get laid. There have been times in the past where I didn't have the access to sex and involuntarily abstained, but this is of course different because I'm asserting my self control.

It's a bit worse than normal as well because I'm cooped up in the house waiting for my old roommate's bf so that I can give him some items he left behind. I would have probably left the confines of my room, going out to socialize at a bar. The combination of craft beer and the fairer sex would ease my stress. I have always found that going out into public and making an effort got rid of the sexual urges. Chimpanzees only masturbate in captivity.

Even if I was going out to flirt and make out with some random at the bar, there's a reward in that which tends to satisfy sexual stress. Best case, you make out, get a number, and maybe something worthwhile develops. Who knows.

Right now, I just want this dude to hurry the fuck up and arrive so that I can get along with my day. There's absolutely nothing worse than waiting for someone.

Hello World

Going to start this listed blog off with some hackneyed shit. 

Hello World.

I'm vers, I maintain a blog and an active twitter persona whose handle is vers la Lune. I'm not going to make a direct link because at the moment I don't want these two worlds to overlap.

At the moment I'm in a difficult transitionary period. My meatspace identity is inhibiting the growth of my digital self. Interestingly, in a very information age type of way, my online persona is far more authentic than my "true" identity. I can't speak freely---especially in this day and age--about the ways I truly feel. This is saying a lot because my twitter is fairly raunchy as it is.

I'm finding that I'm truly far more right-leaning than I originally thought I was and this has been an interesting turn of events for me. I really enjoy exploring just how much i disagree with in the mainstream narrative, but the problem is my family follows and since I'm just "playing around" I feel like I can't play without refrain.

In many ways that restraint is what's keeping me conscious of what I say. I have a tendency to say flagrant comments for attention, and the fact my online self is easily traced back to my doxx maintains a semblance of order.

Since this "blog" is really just in my notes, I feel like it'll be a good place to get out some of the egocentric ideas that I want to post on my twitter or blog, but lack the edification for my audience that is necessary. I'd rather not waste their time.


No Nut November

As of right now, it's a bit after 1am on Nov 4th, bringing me to day 4 of No Nut November. While I don't consider myself to be Puritanical, I feel like I've neglected self-discipline. I've been being led around by my dick recently. I'm constantly swiping on tinder and fucking a slew of truly obnoxious broads. Now, on the one hand, I am appreciating the amount of sex I'm having--I know it's not easy for everyone to get laid. The problem overall is that I just find most of these women obnoxious. 

Tinder feels a lot like eating fast food. The seemingly healthy options are underwhelming so you order the walking coronary instead. It's fine for what it is, but I'm sick of mentally-ill spinsters. I want to date someone real again. I've never been one to pick the best partners, but I've been working out quite a bit, I have a sense of what my "purpose" is, so I feel like I should run into the person that's right for me. This is of course a fairytale and it's great that this beta shit just coomed from the tips of my fingers. 

I am going into this No Coom November with two things on my mind. One, I want to make far more progress on my writing/videos and two, I want to make more irl approaches of women. "daygame." I'm not really interested in talking to 10, 20, 30 bitches on the street, but I think I should make a point of seeking extrinsinc solutions to my sexual urges instead of interpassive consumption of pornography and the like. 

It would be disingenuous to flatout deny a porn addiction--the fact that this is even a challenge speaks to the grip my libido has on me--but I think the fact that I regularly have sex with a decent number of fairly attractive women discredits that idea. With that said, I think that I've lowered my standards because of pornography. I think I'm going for the easy option because I've dulled my senses with not just the fast food of tinder, but a shmorgaporg of interpassive consumption of obscenity and onanism. I think on a scale of 1-30 I'm consistently operating at a 16 when I should be operating at a 23. I think it's fairly safe to say that Im not playing in the correct league and that is why I'm not "driven" to be with any of the women I find myself with. 

It's been fairly easy so far; it's not uncommon for me to go several days without cooming, but it will likely get to be a bit challenging in the coming weeks. Will continue to update.