November 4, 2019•714 words
Going to start this listed blog off with some hackneyed shit.
I'm vers, I maintain a blog and an active twitter persona whose handle is vers la Lune. I'm not going to make a direct link because at the moment I don't want these two worlds to overlap.
At the moment I'm in a difficult transitionary period. My meatspace identity is inhibiting the growth of my digital self. Interestingly, in a very information age type of way, my online persona is far more authentic than my "true" identity. I can't speak freely---especially in this day and age--about the ways I truly feel. This is saying a lot because my twitter is fairly raunchy as it is.
I'm finding that I'm truly far more right-leaning than I originally thought I was and this has been an interesting turn of events for me. I really enjoy exploring just how much i disagree with in the mainstream narrative, but the problem is my family follows and since I'm just "playing around" I feel like I can't play without refrain.
In many ways that restraint is what's keeping me conscious of what I say. I have a tendency to say flagrant comments for attention, and the fact my online self is easily traced back to my doxx maintains a semblance of order.
Since this "blog" is really just in my notes, I feel like it'll be a good place to get out some of the egocentric ideas that I want to post on my twitter or blog, but lack the edification for my audience that is necessary. I'd rather not waste their time.
No Nut November
As of right now, it's a bit after 1am on Nov 4th, bringing me to day 4 of No Nut November. While I don't consider myself to be Puritanical, I feel like I've neglected self-discipline. I've been being led around by my dick recently. I'm constantly swiping on tinder and fucking a slew of truly obnoxious broads. Now, on the one hand, I am appreciating the amount of sex I'm having--I know it's not easy for everyone to get laid. The problem overall is that I just find most of these women obnoxious.
Tinder feels a lot like eating fast food. The seemingly healthy options are underwhelming so you order the walking coronary instead. It's fine for what it is, but I'm sick of mentally-ill spinsters. I want to date someone real again. I've never been one to pick the best partners, but I've been working out quite a bit, I have a sense of what my "purpose" is, so I feel like I should run into the person that's right for me. This is of course a fairytale and it's great that this beta shit just coomed from the tips of my fingers.
I am going into this No Coom November with two things on my mind. One, I want to make far more progress on my writing/videos and two, I want to make more irl approaches of women. "daygame." I'm not really interested in talking to 10, 20, 30 bitches on the street, but I think I should make a point of seeking extrinsinc solutions to my sexual urges instead of interpassive consumption of pornography and the like.
It would be disingenuous to flatout deny a porn addiction--the fact that this is even a challenge speaks to the grip my libido has on me--but I think the fact that I regularly have sex with a decent number of fairly attractive women discredits that idea. With that said, I think that I've lowered my standards because of pornography. I think I'm going for the easy option because I've dulled my senses with not just the fast food of tinder, but a shmorgaporg of interpassive consumption of obscenity and onanism. I think on a scale of 1-30 I'm consistently operating at a 16 when I should be operating at a 23. I think it's fairly safe to say that Im not playing in the correct league and that is why I'm not "driven" to be with any of the women I find myself with.
It's been fairly easy so far; it's not uncommon for me to go several days without cooming, but it will likely get to be a bit challenging in the coming weeks. Will continue to update.