I've done it yesterday...

Well, I was publishing my first post and it happened. A 15 y/o crise started not longer after this.

Long story short: my car is out of the road for some reasons and can not put it back on it before september. Meanwhile, my mom and I share her car. We live in the same building and it is easy to do.

It is friday and like every friday, when I did not kept the car on thurday, I keep it on friday to do stuff. All week long I scheduled my time and appointments so all can be done in the same day. Every thursday or friday, at 8 O'Clock I go see my mom asking her if we leave at 8:30, as usual and get ready. When she have to leave early, she send a text to let me know and we deal from there.

So.. friday morning, 8 O'Clock, the phone rang and it was a call I have waited for months. An appointment in the afternoon! "Yessssss! I will be there, no problem, I have waited so long for this I do not want to lose my place and my file being closed!" I have said.

Run upstairs, knock on my mom's door.. no answer.. knock again.. no answer, not even a sound in the appartment. Check outside, the car is not there. Call her cellphone, no answer. What the fuck is going on this morning? Call later, no answer.. What the fucking fuck???

An hour later, I have received a text from my mom with "excuses" she could not answer the phone because she was driving. Ok, what about the bluetooth you asked me to set up in the car? Oh, it is true, "You deactivated the bluetooth" as per what she is saying in the text. I activated it, showed her how it works, but because she can not use it, I did something.

Now... 3 hours of walk for that appointment.... ..... ...

I busted, right there. Total darkness; I mean, I remember what I did and said, but I also remember I was not able to control my mouth. This part I do not understand it. I was probably 12 or 13 max in my actions. More I was realising it, worse it was going.

I also do not understand: why the usual routine was skipped this morning? The only answer I got is: "Oup! I forgot... sorry!". That "reason" is always the one used for everything: "Oups, I forgot... sorry!".

How the fuck can you forget something happening for more then 6 months now? It is not happening once in a while, it is a weekly rendez-vous! I keep the car on thursday or friday, do my stuff, do grocery and her quick shopping at the same time.

So I just busted and say things that I usually think, but keep for me. But that time was too much. I exploded. Everything I had inside got out.

Am I sorry? DO I regret? Not sure of this part either... yet..

-FBF