My Dedication to Peace

What am I into these days? My main focus is on taking care of myself and my housemate since we spend almost all our time together. I try to act in a peaceful way, aiming to make each place better just by being there—whether that's straightening some papers at the bank or putting a chair back in its spot at the store. For me, acting peacefully means not hurting anyone with my actions. What pushed me to commit to this was my past. When I was sick, I acted pretty dishonorably and didn’t really respect myself. A good friend even told me I "had no sense of honor" back then. Looking back on those times is tough because it’s hard to face that stuff from my history. I remember the social blunders and worse, which were all poor choices I made. Sometimes I could’ve really messed things up for myself and my friends. But reflecting on those mistakes, even though it’s painful, helps motivate me to do better now.

I met a guy at this service center for people dealing with illness and addiction. He’d gone to jail for some really bad stuff he did. But back then, he might’ve been untreated for a brain illness. Plus, he grew up poor. He managed to clean up his life, got into recovery, and turned things around. Still, he struggled with poverty, paranoia, and physical illnesses pretty much until the end of his life. He was a kind, funny guy, and I really want to remember him that way. He was honorable at the end, despite all the tough stuff he faced.