The Hole | Mo 1/16

I don't remember what happened today or last night. I think I fell asleep on the couch after staying up late again, woke up at 9ish to the alarm I set for yesterday, and did nothing all day. The "pillows to prevent lying down" trick is completely useless. I just put the pillows on top of myself like I'm a lasagna. I ordered a few things on Amazon, but I don't really remember looking things like rave outfits, kandi, lights for totems, and hydration packs out so that was probably yesterday. I barely ate, didn't do chores, and have to work tomorrow. This is a disaster; I just lost my day. MLK would not be proud.

On the bright side, my shoulder was feeling pretty funky yesterday when I flexed it to raise my arm. I think it may have been the several days of sleeping badly, but I don't know for sure. I need to get my life together.

Also while napping during the day I remember dreaming about doing to some dance with a girl who reminded me a lot of Rebecca from Korean class. We were dressed up and chatted as we walked through some big ballroom with decorations set up, but someone else brought a large dog to the event and she, along with several others nearby, became glued to it. I woke up jealous of the dog, sad that I couldn't even get much human interaction in a dream.

I got myself cleaned up and packed for mom's house, which as much as I hate to admit it is a comfort right now. It's nice knowing that food is waiting and I won't have to drive through hell tomorrow morning. Maybe in times like these leaning on others is necessary. I don't expect a lot of progress, but let's try to focus on the most important things: take care of the body (diet, sleep, exercise), maybe human interaction next, and errands last.