Can't Get Worse | We 1/25

It was so nice to work remotely, but I guess it wasn't meant to last. We got 2 new team members who don't seem like juniors (worked with things similar to Kafka and Kubernetes). I guess I'm happy to have more of the team's responsibilities split up at least.

During a meeting to get to know them some of the team shared about how 3 day in-office mandate seems to be real and happening soon. They said there will be a sliding 12-week period where we need to be in office 60% of days, but they specifically mentioned issues if we dip below 50% so maybe that's the real goal.

It also seems like the Enzo people (Nonso, Gonzalo, and Sam along with some others) will be rejoining the team and various products' responsibilities will be split among the fewer teams. I think this is a good thing. It'll be nice to have Sam at least, and it doesn't sound like harder work, but I guess I'll have more real things to do and learn.

During the day I was messaging Ben constantly about things to watch for when buying a ticket for EDC along with tips for booking a hotel, planning transport, and priorities to plan first. It got me so excited to make the thing happen, but the list of tasks is also pretty daunting and I have a lot of newfound respect for people like Gigi who planned these things in the past.

After work I resolved to lift, but John notified me that volleyball will be late so I figured I'd try to do both. I tried to do squats with higher tempo and definitely felt the cardio being taxed. It was so much that I didn't feel the mojo in me to do accessories. This would be a bad sign since I probably played the worst volleyball of my life tonight.

I packed a lot of things up to sleep over at mom's (clothes including a big coat since the weather is hitting freezing, toiletries including a hairdryer since I figured I had the space, lunchbox, work bag, and volleyball stuff) and made my way to volleyball, but even during warmup my ankles were rubbing against the shoes enough to open up the wounds from Friday again. I tried to use bandages and tape, but they kept slipping and coming off so I gave up. If it's any consolation, I was so worried about the ankles that I didn't even feel narrowness in the shoes.

Early while playing games I resolved to switch into the casual sneakers I meant for work, but those were a disaster. It felt like playing in the Kyrie's again, my brain unsure if I would slide or not deep inside, making me just a bit slower and reluctant to move. The shoes, the workout before, I guess playing middle since I didn't really want to, and I think the mediocre sleep from the night before, compounded to make me play and think inhumanly badly.

I got in my setter's way, didn't move for free balls, and didn't back up to hit so often. I figured I could stay out of the setter's way by staying close to the net, but then I felt like so many passes were sent along there so I couldn't catch a break.

During the night I got some looks from my teammates which read to me as saying "you could've gotten that" and they killed me every time since I thought the same, but I just couldn't deliver. That was the worst I've ever felt playing volleyball. If I was a coach, I'd have subbed myself out so early to prevent the disaster that came.

On the bright side I did get some nice blocks. I guess I don't need shoes to jump high. I also tried to be encouraging and a good teammate, but I don't know how well that went. I guess I can't play worse than that, which is kind of comforting.