Get Up | Th 1/26

I got up before my alarm, which was a surprise since I didn't sleep much. I think my body is down bad for sleep. I managed to make some progress on my project and meet with Joe to talk about a new story I have, which felt very productive. I feel like as work gets less novel I'll become less descriptive with it. Soon enough it'll only be going well or badly at the moment like when friends describe it.

I went home without much of a hitch, tried to stay productive, but fell into the couch trap and lazed around. I also napped from around 5:30 to 7:30 and scrambled to eat dinner and rush to volleyball.

There was a wide skill gap tonight like most Wednesdays. I'm surprised how the sweaty group who I sometimes get to play 5-1 with somehow mixes with the purely friendly casual crowd, but it works and everyone is nice. It wasn't a high bar to clear, but I felt like I was playing better than I did yesterday.

Eventually some people left so one court turned into serve and serve reception practice, but that turned into playing 4's. It's hard hitting back-row, but I got plenty of practice passing and hitting, which was satisfying. I did also feel some shoulder funk though, and the wounds on my ankles opened up again even with the low-top shoes I'm used to wearing. I guess I should cover my ankles well until they can heal completely.

Afterwards some people went to Cane's and we had fun conversation. They made me realize that my enthusiasm for the game isn't common and can't be trained, so I see it as a gift. The group also heard my worries about being placed in advanced for DIVA and gave me tips for changing my mindset, which made me realize that I was comparing myself to others and complaining about my skill. It wasn't until I got in the car to drive home that I heard an echo from Haikyuu.

"For today you happen to be defeated, but what will you become tomorrow?"

This is exactly the mindset I need to have. There's no point in comparing myself and my growth to others and theirs. Even if I'm not happy with my own skills, I should do work to bring them up instead of feeling bad for myself. It's in my control to improve. I just have to ask myself how much I want to.

Even now I thought about the unfairness of volleyball, but I'm okay with it. If I'm really playing on easy mode by being tall, I have a much higher skill ceiling to hit, which is exciting. I have been given a gift of higher potential and should be happy for the chance to play with good players.