Something New? | 1/30 - 2/5

I'm trying to experiment with posting to the blog for a week's worth of condensed trends with some highlights instead of my daily play-by-play. I've heard some readers have had a harder time keeping up because of the longer entries, so I'll try to keep these free from things like specifics of work and volleyball or my ramblings. Please let me know what you think! I love to keep people in the loop, but maybe this strategy is too reductive. Also feel free to ask me questions about specifics. I'll try to condense my thoughts so I may not be explaining myself well.

The standard of work rising has been rising. I've been asked to have regular meetings to share progress, told to get the ball rolling constantly and, urged to ask questions. The team also shared about a mandate to be in office >50% of the time, which broke my heart and got me thinking about staying at mom's house consecutive days to minimize the pain of commuting. It'll be harder to hang out or play volleyball, but I guess I can be productive (find a therapist, read through past journals, track spending and budget, finish dating profile).

Texas froze over and my car slipped while getting groceries on Monday, but thankfully nothing bad came from it. I spent a lot of time napping on the couch with hangouts and DIVA events being cancelled. It was very boring, but physically restful at least. I also got to make cookies (which I've been devouring) and chicken salad, and my boredom got me to play and rage-quit Dark Souls. Nivva wanted to walk around in the snow for a bit to catch up one day, which was fun. Gigi also called me early one morning to tell me that she was having trouble getting a ride to the airport, but she figured something out and made it safely.

DIVA started and our practices were cancelled, so I only met my team when it was time to play. Things were rough, especially receiving serves, but I had a few great moments and felt the usual fire to keep playing. Some of the other sweaty friends want to rent a court weekly for drills too. Even though it takes so much of my time up (drill day with DIVA friends, fun day with big group, practice with team, game days), I want to make the time for it.

Ever since the talk with Sara last Sunday I've been thinking about what I want in a relationship and am trying to be honest with myself. I guess it'd be nice to be supported at times and not have to be the sole provider, sense of humor and honesty are important, the dog in me likes someone to keep me warm and smile at me, and I don't really want to play games of image or impressing. Dating does seem kind of fake and like marketing even though I think the context of a dating app, where there can't be confusing overlap with friends, would be nice. I still have some reservations--getting busier, not being sure what I want, dating seeming fake, not understanding the "standards" and tending to see it transactionally--but I think I'm sure to learn a lot from experimenting and trying to date.