Gamer Dog | Sa 2/25

I woke up around noon, ate, and asked Sara to play games. She and I got onto discord, played Borderlands 3 with pretty low level characters, and it was a lot of fun both hanging out with her and clicking on heads. After several hours she had to leave though, which made me sad to hear. I feel like a dog again. Also I guess we couldn't talk much in the moment, but if we get another chance to I may try making more conversation to light up my brain.

Afterwards I was very bored. While trying to engage myself I realized I just wanted good chemicals and it was hard not to feel like an addict trying to get a fix. I also realized that people nowadays can get the chemicals easier than ever (social media, junk food, internet) and it's scary wondering how much stimulation I should be having regularly. It was fun rediscovering Borderlands 3 and how fun it is, but I wonder if my time is better spent elsewhere.

Then I ate, napped on accident, started looking into Borderlands 3 content again, and eventually around dinner time Adrian called. It was nice catching up, but he seems to be going through a lot recently. He shared about the house being messy, not going to the gym for a bit, gaining weight, and considering moving.

I shared about the date and how I'm feeling about Sara, and he agrees that I shouldn't force myself, but also commented that we can't control feelings. We also talked for a while about him ordering an apple monitor by accident, our ridiculous dreams, apartments around me, him selling his computer and monitors, and my theory that humans are just animals trying to feel good.

Eventually Adrian had to go so I went back to doing nothing. Eventually I fell asleep around 2 and woke up at 6:30. I also had a dream that some friends were driving to visit, but I forgot until they showed up in the middle of the night. When I finally see them dad is with them for some reason and I have an emotional moment reuniting like all times I see him in my dreams. Eventually I'm hanging out with Dad and ask him about the car they drove in when I see the seats shaking. I realize that it's an earthquake (which Adrian mentioned California is overdue for in the phone call) and tell him that we should find somewhere safer to wait.

Now I prepared for volleyball and breakfast, but I'll try to get some more sleep before I go.