Something Like A Storm Chapter 4
September 21, 2022•365 words
Monday came around too soon. The idea of seeing them or being in that school petrified me. My stomach fluttered with fear. Fear of embarrassment, of socialising again.
Then, I could be the big brave girl standing up for righteous but their critic of me demolished the fake facade of confidence I had. I felt my brain spiralling out of control into the thoughts. It was shutting me out. I was suddenly aware of everything but I couldn't react. My body was acting on primate and habitual instinct. I become avoidant of emotions yet aggressive to anything.
"Isabella? Are you ok? Isabella!" Freia asked me as I walked towards her.
"I'm fine" My words came out heavy and nonchalantly. I wanted to stop and break out of it but I couldn't. I felt panic and myself breaking down further. My fear somehow managed to manifest on the outside.
"Are you sure?" She questioned again.
The panic subsided now replaced with sadness and confusion. What was happening to me?
"I'm fine. I was just in my own head" I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Do you want to talk?"
"No, it is fine. I just need to put money on my food allowance"
Thankfully, there was no line. No time to rest or think. I scanned my finger and started pulling out my money.
I glanced to my right and saw it was him. Christian.
"What do you want?" I attacked wanting to make this short and not end in me shutting down.
"You shouldn't be so aggressive. I just want to talk about our common problem."
"Our problem? I don't know you."
"What I mean is the issue regarding the tables. What you don't understand is that table has been ours for over a year and a half and I would like to keep it for the rest of the time that I am here."
"What YOU don't understand is first come first serve and anyway the table is big enough for both groups. Why are you making such a big deal?"
"I just need the table ok!"
He walked off in a storm.
I ignored his unjustified anger and walked off.