Friday, 23 Dec 2022 at 12:29 - Daily Entry 16 - Day #9

This is the song I am writing the post to:

So today I have been taking it slow. It feels like the first day in a while where I a not rushing. The day is a slow day where I am able to just do small meaningless tasks lool. Doing things like taking care of my skin and making sure I am hydrated and wrapping up presents and having time with my family feels great. I haven't been able to do that in so long.
Currently I am on my study break which is something I have never done intentionally and I feel so much better.

Update: I have deleted most social media e.g. twitter, Instagram, snapchat. I only have WhatsApp for my work. I don't know when I will be back but when I do go back, I want to post and feel like I can be me.

I have also gotten a new bible and I have been reading it and it is nice. I feel like it is the most I have spoken with God in a while. It feels weird writing in the bible though.
I have also had a crazy time with winter and cold so I now have a pair of thermal (it is merino wool which was a very big spend for me). I haven't used them yet though.
I have been sick with the strangest flu which has been passing around the country. I wasn't the one who brought it to the household which made me very happy as it means I was being careful. I don't like being the cause of making my family ill.
I have also applied for a therapy session which I am very happy about, I always need I needed/wanted to go to therapy in the future. I didn't think I would need it so soon but I guess the earlier I start, the earlier I can have a healthier life?
I have been longing for a relationship for a while but I know I am not ready for one which is contradictory I know. Part of the reason , I know I am not ready is because I tend to see red flags and not act in the right way. In a currently unpublished post, I made a "bad" choice to be friends and encourage some very bad behaviour. I think even Spotify knows that I tend to long as longing was one of my words to describes my night. I also know part of what I am longing for isn't just a relationship but part of the belief that a relationship will complete me when I know this isn't true. I guess God knew that and He sent a post to show me that only He can complete me and I am partly feeling like this because I have been pushing people away.
I also met up with my friends recently which was great. We completed an escape room which was a lot of fun. I had really missed them and it seems like we have started a Christmas tradition of meeting up near Christmas and going on the Ferris wheel which is great and something I really want to complete every year!

For next year, I want to:

  • have started to practise my other languages apart from English,
  • eating more healthier ( I need to eat a wider range of veg and nuts),
  • have more actual rest,
  • keep working out - get to 60kg on squat (right now I am at 3 x 20kg)
  • meet more new people
  • put some boundaries.
  • Increase my saving by half
  • Talk to God more and read the bible more
  • travel to a city
  • get an average of 70%
  • finish JavaScript coding

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