How NOT to listen to your child

So, my two year old has gotten good at communicating what he wants. He's started issuing commands like "more grapes" and "more Mozzarella" etc... But, now my wife and I are trying to teach him to say "please".

So, the other day when he demanded grapes- I think it was grapes- I asked him to say "please". He just looked at me and rubbed his belly. I'm like, "yeah dude, I know. But, you gotta say please." But, he just looked at me again and rubbed his belly. This time with a sad look on his face.

I told him, you're not getting these grapes unless you say please. He looked desperate now. He rubbed his belly frantically. This was the line in the sand. "No grapes then," I told him. He started crying. He kept rubbing his belly and asking for "more grapes". He didn't get his grapes that day, but don't worry, I wouldn't let my kid go hungry. And watching him meltdown over something he wanted was heart wrenching.

Fast forward a couple days and he's still doing this belly rub thing. I ask my wife, "what is that? why does he keep doing that?"... A thought popped into my head and I wondered, how do you say thank you in sign language?

Well, as it turns out, it looks a lot like rubbing your belly. So, yeah... the guilt hit my like a tsunami. My two year old had been seeing please this whole time. I realized, that listening isn't just with the ears. It's about slowing down and paying attention. Assuming positive intent. Staying curious.