Friday, Aug 25, 2023: On a plane to Boston

Well actually, I'm currently on a plane to Atlanta, but my final destination is Boston.

At the beginning of the day, I was quite positive that we would have no trouble at all fitting everything into our bags. I think what ended up happening was me going, "I think I can add one more thing in," and now we have backpacks that look like they're about to burst open. Either way, we (by that I mean my parents and I) made it through TSA fine and everything, and we're on the plane safe and sound. I'd like to interject real quick and thank whoever made free wifi on planes a possibility because this thing is so helpful. Plane rides are now less terrible if I can have the internet with me.

Before I left, I said goodbye to my stuffed animals, the Underwater Gang. They're called that because they're all underwater animals. They're all very lovable. I couldn't bring all of them, but I brought Pengy, Torble, and Quadrupus (it is an exercise left to the viewer to figure out what kind of animals they are). They're all so very soft and I love them so much. I'm bringing a pillow with me to move-in, and also, little do my parents know, but I have a friend in Boston who's holding on to a pillow that someone threw away at the end of PROMYS. That means I'll have plenty of things on my bed, and that I won't feel lonely at night. Before my beloved boyfriend gifted me all these stuffed animals, I used to go to bed perfectly fine with just a pillow behind my head and some comfy blankies. Now, I need to hug something to fall asleep.

It still hasn't sunk in that I'm going to college. It's been so weird looking at my friends posting pictures of them in their dorms and in lecture halls on Instagram. Like damn, I'm basically an adult now (I'm still 17 teehee). Maybe it's weird for me especially because ever since I was a small kid, I'd always dream of going to college. My sister is more than 10 years older than I am, and I can't even remember the time when she was in high school. Like every little sister, I've looked up to her and wanted to be her, as a college student doing college things like taking cute notes in class and studying (I romanticized academia a lot even as a child). That's why, when I played pretend, I would always imagine myself as a college student.

I guess you could say that my dreams are coming true at this moment. I'm a college student. I'm a college student at a school that I never thought I would get into (cue imposter syndrome). Argh. Those words don't feel right coming out of my mouth. I wonder when they'll ever feel right. I'm pretty sure it's like math: you don't ever understand it, you just do it so much that you get used to it. I wonder if this is true for all things. But I do think that there's a point when you really understand something. It's a weird topic. I'm sure some philosophers have written about it. Maybe I should take a philosophy class. I want to take one about the nature of humans. I don't like debating weird topics like AI and morality. I guess I'd like anthropology. The MIT alumni that interviewed me was an anthropology major.

Anyways, college is a pivotal moment in just about anyone's life, but perhaps more so in my case than most others. I really look forward to it. I hope I'll have fun and not spiral down an endless pit of self-loathing because of imposter syndrome. I very much like the freedom that being in college gives. My dad's pretty adamant about certain rules around the house, and that means that I had to turn off my computer at 11pm and get to bed. I mean, I didn't really have a problem with it because I had to wake up at 7am to go to school and I do really value my eight hours of sleep, but there are just some nights where I just wanted to stay up a little late. It'll be nice to have the freedom to be able to set my own sleep schedule.

I also think that I'm responsible enough to not go power-tripping with my newfound freedom. I value my body. As long as I don't succumb to peer-pressure-but-it's-not-really-the-peer-giving-me-the-pressure-but-rather-my-perception-of-what-they-want-from-me, I'll be fine. I really do want to get into bed at 12 so I can wake up at 8. I also want to not feed my body with instant ramen and frozen meals for every meal. I do hope I won't devolve to that. My dad has successful brainwashed me into believing that I will spontaneously combust if I were to consume more than one serving of instant ramen per week. I don't want to spontaneously combust.

A counselor at PROMYS told me that I'd be fine. PROMYS is really just a trial run of college anyways, and I think I did fine both times around. Plus, that means I have more experience from my experience at PROMYS. I think I'll do fine.

I didn't really mean for this post to become me trying to assure myself that college will turn out fine. I guess that's the 1am on a plane effect. Please excuse me while I take a short break from writing and munch on some Sun Chips (I don't like Biscoff) and reset my frame of mind.

I may have ended up watching Richard Borcherds while eating my Sun Chips. Now all I can think about it math, but I don't really want to write about math in this blog at least.

My legs are in a rather awkward position because of the giant backpack that I have between my legs. I get a little jolting pain whenever I try to extend them all the way. Ah, nothing like being on an airplane. Oh, I should probably talk about my approach to air travel.

If there's one feeling in the world that I would get rid of, it would be the feeling when you're very sleepy and you're trying to sleep, but you can't. Honestly, insomnia sounds like a terrible, terrible affliction and I don't know how insomniacs even survive. Maybe I just like sleep more than the average person? After wasting tons of time trying to fall asleep on planes, I've just decided that I'm not going even going to try anymore. There's something about the way these economy seats are built that makes it impossible to fall asleep. I mean, I have no trouble napping on cars. In fact, there have been times when I couldn't resist falling asleep in the car (as a passenger, of course), even though I've had a full night's rest.

A nice thing about not falling asleep on the plane is that you won't get jet-lagged. It's like a hard reset for your circadian rhythm. It's a rather good strategy, I think. It's really just pulling an all-nighter. It's not that bad to do every once in a while. Also, if you don't fall asleep, you won't miss out on the free in-flight snacks. I actually don't hate airplane food. This is one of those little things in life that I romanticize. There's just something so cute about having a flight attendant ask you what you would like and hand you food and then, you eat it on the cute little tray table with the cute little circular indent for the cup. It's just so aesthetic, I don't know what to tell you.

I really don't have that much to say, which is unfortunate because during the day, I was telling myself about how much I'm going to write on this flight. Well, I suppose that people might find me annoying if I write too much. Wait! They can just not read my posts if they find it annoying. Ah, who cares about what other people think (I do, clearly).

Man, I really do write different at night vs. during the morning.

Catch me tomorrow where I'll write about moving in and meeting people (maybe).

100Days: 13