24 OCT - September Updates

"What's going on?" - Marvin Gaye

I tried before to "move" this blog to a github hosted site that was purely links and text that looked like the first website in the world - https://info.cern.ch/hypertext/WWW/TheProject.html because I like the simplicity and straightforwardness for a lack of a better term of the website itself. I like when things are just made to do what it needs to do instead of being diluted to meet other expectations and other functions. For example, when a car is designed and developed to have a central focus on making sure it is a car you can rely on and just drive rather than adding more entertainment and other features that could dilute the "carness" of the vehicle.

It worked, the website is up (I am NOT linking it), but with writing each blog post in html is gets a lil much sometimes writing each post in that language, and then having to format the website to make sure the links to going to the right places, and that the whole website (I mean a collection of web pages linked together) is linked correctly. Which, being a full time college student (math major) and a part time worker that commutes to both places, it gets a little annoying at times trying to do this and that at the same time consistently. Experiencing those moments would at times would make me feel like I am not using my time in the most efficient manner, and now more than ever I need to use my time in a manner that is not too wasteful, so I stopped interacting with that so I can focus on other things. But! I like writing? So why stop? Why not find another means to keep writing and keep the blog going? This is that keeping going means.

Semester just started and getting to it now I got everything going on in each class.

"Before" the semester -

The 20th of August to the 31st of August in 2024 had be transition from my summer outside on the court and in the streets and other places to one in the crib doing homework before a class even began. My MATH404 (from this point on assume a sequence of three letters starting with a 4 refers to a math class at umbc I am taking this fall) professor sent a email about posting the first hw, readings, and other material for the upcoming semester. I remember waking up, seeing the email, and knowing exactly what I had to do. The homework. It was 20+ questions of review for partial differential equations (pdes). Now I know I am smart, but not the type of smart to where I can fully attempted and have a decent worked solution for each problem within a week. NOOOOOOO - I need time and I need that time to get jiggy with the material and understand what is going on each question. My math superpower is being able to see the problem is, and gather the clues and pieces to find a worthy solution to the problem. It is like having 500 pieces to a puzzle that ik what the solution looks like, and making the puzzle. It has been that way since I was a youngin, being a problem solver. As well finding patterns anywhere, I mean in individual people, groups of people, and all other sorts of things too. Now the transition period prolly sounds like a horror to some but I did enjoy it. I did not have the stress from the semester like right now on my head and I still got to enjoy "summer".

First days -

The 28th through the 30th of August was the first days on the campus of UMBC. It was a transition period as the day prior I did my math, got some carryout, and sat at the park nearby me realizing that I won't have those days no more where I can wake up and be a nomad all day around my city. But with things coming to an end comes a beginning of a something better (depends on perpsective) and with this beginning I was being inducted into a teacher scholars' program, and being affiliated with other programs that's based around scholarship and achievement. The first days was no more than coming back to place I knew too well but can't seem to fit into overall. I knew what I had to change about the way I did things at this school in order to have a better experience for myself and succeed. With these changes include organically make relations with people and putting myself more in the places with more Black stem people who are going through shit like me. All I did really was meet the people I was affiliated with, study, did my work, and see some people I knew.

Week of 2 SEPT -

No significant changes, just getting adjusted to classes and doing work for them too. The most I had so far was in 404 PDE where I was doing two homework's at the same time (slowly) and making sure I was keeping up with the class content. Who knew the first week of PDE was more what is a pde and how to classify it rather than having a reading quiz due before class and other shit too.

Weeks of 9 SEPT and the 16th -

The weeks in many ways overlap in my experience at this school. the week of the 9th was more or less the same as the week of the 2nd where I was still getting adjusted to the school and more in tune with what the classes entail. In the week of the 16th, if you are enrolled in a higher-level math class you will find out how the class really is either before or 4 weeks in when exams first come out. At least for umbc when they test the kiddos with, the first exams in chem, math and/or bio, it is usually when a first major assignment is due and when the product of the work you did over the weeks comes to this point. I say before as a case because sometimes professors will post material you should know and that they will test you on before you go into the course material. Like my professor did for 404. I got more adjusted in this scholar's program I am affiliated with too. It's weird...I won't get into it because that whole dynamic and shit is complex and tied to different things. Overall, school is just school for now. As it should have been for the last two semesters I have been enrolled at this school. Before I tried to (with the schools been at before) be wrapped into the culture and the ways that go on; Whether it was my high school (might as well been majority black), and community college (lots of locals), I was able to identify with the school and fit in. Now, it isn't healthy having school as your primary identity because that can have its ups and downs with grades, sports and more, but as a nigga that likes school, I can't help it. Now, I have gotten better at finding my identity and knowing who I am more, but before it was bad. And when my identity was primarily based on the school I am at now, which is NOT a party, bar, fun, and/or a school with a similar culture (African American culture like an HBCU), it can cause a crisis within the identity and other conflicts which I experienced.

The rest of September was as I said above. When you are this type of school, it the same shit every day. Nothing varies from day to day except for classes.