1000 words

Its October and still can't go back to the office

I am slowly not giving a fuck about work. Being stuck at home every single day has cut back on my motivation. Yet, here I am forcing myself to do it to get paid. I hope one day I can get into a career that I will actually enjoy.

I am lucky I have a good job amidst all of the stupid that has taken place this year. I would be lying tho if I said I woke up every day looking forward to my job.

Chronic Pain

All,

Seeing people in chronic your whole life really changes your prospective on whats worth giving a fuck about. At the end of the day whats the point of life? In my opinion there is no real "point" you are simply here because two people fell in love, fucked a ton, had kids and here we are. (well most case scenarios that's what took place)

Just because none of us really have a purpose does not mean life should not be enjoyed. I see my mom in chronic pain every day of my life. I wish I could take care of it and make it go away for good. Sadly that is not a feasible thing to accomplish. Even through all of the bullshit she deals with she still finds a way to keep positive most of the time and continue to push.

I guess the point I am trying to make is the following. If my mother who has been sick for 25+ years can still wake up each day and find some hope. I am sure you can wake up in the morning and find something to smile about and be happy with. I mean, there is no real "purpose" other than what you make of life. So do your fucking best to be happy and find things you enjoy. Do not let things that are not important get the best of you. At the end of the day keeping those you care about such as family and friends close and finding some time to laugh is the best thing you can hold on to.

:peace:

Fireworks - For Fucks Sake

I really wish people would be less butt hurt about fireworks going off this year.

Lyrics for the song Lucifer by Rezz

Lucifer by Rezz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-suRhwqCGc

I ... oaahh x14
I ... oaahhhhhhh
I ... oaahh x 3

You lick my bean bag x8

I lick my bean bag x4

You lick my bean bag x4

I lick my bean bag x4

You lick my bean bag x4

I lick my bean bag x16

I
I
I wub wub wub wub
I wub wub wub wub

wub wub wub wub
wub wub wub wub
I lick my bean bag
wub wub wub wub
wub wub wub wub
I lick my bean bag
wub wub wub wub
wub wub wub wub
I lick my bean bag

I
I lick my bean bag
I wub wub wub wub
I wub wub wub wub
I lick my bean bag x8

You lick my bean bag x4

I lick my bean bag x4

You lick my bean bag x4

I ... oaahh x8

Steps To a Great Day

  1. Shower each morning... otherwise you are stinky
  2. Chug a shit ton of coffee -- deathwish coffee from a french press is the way to go
  3. Eat some eggs
  4. Gobble a banana
  5. Dick around for a while until you are ready to focus at work
  6. Focus for a few hours at work
  7. Do fun shit after work
  8. Rinse Repeat

Listen to good music.

Finally getting back to the gym

I'm finally making my way back to the gym. I'm really motivated right now to actually cut a ton of weight and get my muscles showing again. Its been hard in the past with school, but now I do have plenty of time after work. Might as well make some positive changes among all of the bullshit currently taking place.

Don't mess with external storage on nextcloud

Just like the title reads, don't use external storage on nextcloud unless you want to get fucked.

Only use local storage on nextcloud, trying to use the external storage app with nfs shares is a nightmare.

I ended up having a power outage and when the power came back asscloud was pissed. The decryption keys wouldn't decrypt the data on the external share. When I tried to manually do so via the command "nexcloud:occ decrypt:all" etc it corrupted all of my data.

Good times

First Time Watching Silence of The Lambs

I shit you not about 5 minutes after watching silence of the lambs my lights started flickering for about 10 seconds until the power went out for a few minutes.

Great movie, although the lights thing prevented me from taking a poop

6/5/2020

Headaches suck ass. Had one all morning and it refuses to go away. I feel like curling up and sleeping all day. Sadly im stuck working and I dont really want to take any pto today. Thankfully I get to see some friends later.

6/4/2020

Im just trying to keep happy and sane at this point. I currently miss my family, im scared for the spike of covid-19 that is coming and I am trying my best to keep productive at work. I really hope things calm down here soon. Sadly, I think right now is truly the "calm before the storm". Things have to get worse before they get better. Most of us are just standing and watching. I hope we pull our heads out of our asses sooner than later.

ps. fuck cluster flys.

Todays Song:
Isla De Flores - Berlioz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2s6T-P6DTE

6/3/2020

Finding the motivation to give a shit at work has been quite the struggle. Between a global pandemic that puts the elderly and sick at high risk to the peaceful protests turning into violent riots...

The world is always changing and history repeats itself.

Having the time to reflect on life more and more recently I realize what really matters. Keeping your friends and family close, loving one another.

Keep strong. Keep sane. Lets get through this.