Note 35

I looked over what I wrote yesterday, and holy shit I sound like a pretentious asshole. Please never let me write anything after 12 AM.

So then what am I going to do? I'm going to be nice. Courteous. Respectful. Treat her like everyone else. Act normal. If anything happens, great. If nothing does, great. Thinking and stressing about something like this messed me up last quarter with my studies and work. I don't want that to keep happening. Whether that means managing my emotions better, or confronting my feelings, or expressing them, I need to have a better hold on my emotions.

I guess in a way, I'm moving on. I don't think being hung up on this is helping me in any way, shape, or form. So, I won't. I'm better than this. And I will be better than this.

I can't lie that part of me does wish that she'd give me a hint. Or maybe she has and I'm just missing it. In any case, I think it'd be nice. But, as I said earlier, focusing on this isn't really helping me. There are other things that need my attention, and this is something I can just put on backburner.

God, I really hope the person I'm talking about doesn't find this in the future or at least doesn't know about this.