Note 66

I've decided to go down the computer science route, whether that's machine learning or otherwise. I've decided also to forgo the MATS application. It just seemed effectively impossible and not worth my time due to lack of qualifications. Everyone seemed to have or be several years into their PhD and quite honestly looked like they were cracked out of their mind. This kind of led me to think. There's something that I'm clearly lacking right now. Everyone says "oh don't think of yourself as lesser or unqualified just because you got let go". And while I truly believe that I am not, there's clearly something about me that is lacking in this department.

I truly don't know if it's some sort of hard skill or soft skill that I'm lacking in. Maybe it's just that this field doesn't suit me? I'm honestly not quite sure. Maybe it's just a certain level of curiosity? As in just pure interest and wonder for how these systems work. Beyond that actually tinkering with them? The thing is, I don't know if that's true? Maybe it is. I don't know. That's the crux of it I suppose. I simply don't know.