Note 82

Ah, I forgot about how hopeful I was about that job haha. They ended up closing the job so that dream is more or less dead.

Well, I suppose it wasn't really a dream. More so a want. I was recommended a youtube video from a creator who is clearly... well... to put it frankly: stupid. I think his primary content consists of him gambling and taking drugs while enjoying his lavish lifestyle. But I think seeing someone like him be so wildly successful is really interesting. Usually because these kinds of people are extremely authentic. Which is something that I've noticed become more common in up and coming creators. They all seem to be very authentic and themselves when the camera is on.

Back to the point at hand, the point of the video was, in essence, to stop being a bitch and start chasing after my dreams with the might of Zeus. Honestly, I think I still don't really have one. I have things that I enjoy, and I think perhaps there's something there that I can pursue as my dream.

I like playing competitive video games and improving at them. I enjoy learning more about the game from a theory standpoint. I would say that I am a huge music enjoyer both live and online. I enjoy traveling and going to look at things. In contrast, my mother loves to eat so when she travels she loves to think about what and where she's going to eat. I like being able to kind of teach in a way. I like to inform people about things that I am knowledgeable in, just so they know about it while understanding that I, myself would probably never have taken that same advice.

Some thing that he said in the video was to stop looking at others because jealousy just steals time away from you pursuing your goals. But honestly I think I just can't think of a goal in which it still holds that child like innocence. Where as kids we all say we want to be crazy rich, president, movie star, pro athlete or some other outlandish career. Maybe I'm just boxing myself in too much. I mean even in this entry I've boxed myself in to my current interests as the only possible area to find my dream. Which may not be the case!

Ultimately I think I just want to be happy and I want those around me to be happy as well. I suppose I'm the odd one for not having any aspirations other than that.

Will have to deliberate on this.