So how effective has my journal been ?

I've been writing, journaling, daily 3-morning paging, 750wording in various platforms, and venting my spleen, gall bladder and what not.
What have I got to show for it till now?
a VERY BIG ZILCH !

How is it that I've not progressed at all, since all these days and months of writing?
Yes, there have been a few fleeting moments of bliss and enlightenment.
But those have also been mere flashes in the pan.

So what am I doing wrong? Or what should I be doing differently?
Should I seek out professional help? Or just go on head strong, fearless and not bother about anything.

But let me take a pause, and ask myself, these questions.

Why do I write? <- plenty of material here, we've already gone over many, but I'm upto it again today.
I have a zillion thoughts and emotions, most of which I cannot share or vent out.
This is a safe space where I can say do what I feel like. Especially certain recurring themes of why I feel like I'm messed up in my head.
Is the feeling misplaced? Or why haven't you been able to correct your behaviour?
Why do I seek parental approval? And never seem to get enough.
It's time you realized that you've been playing this victim game, far too long and you need to move on in life.
What better way than to create a few pieces of art, which can release the pent up fury and frustration.
It'll do good for your system and also make good art, possibly.
Let me use the A Klein word art poetry.

What do I want to achieve by writing?
Write and publish a book.
Take up writing professionally, full-time. Or maybe even as a serious side-hustle.
So you need to dedicate that many hours, and clock the hours till you get the cadence of words just right.
Is it for self benefit, or for monetary benefit?

Why?
So, if you know where you want to be and haven't reached there as yet, what course corrections do you want to take ?