Jay's Journal #100days

@jaym

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#100Days, Day 2

I'm kind of an asshole. Well, not kind of, I am a full on asshole, especially when people who know they're wrong continue to push the issue as if they'll somehow be right, when the evidence is clearly stacked against them.

So, the asshole part of me is that when a management decision comes down that basically vindicates my original and unwavering position, essentially shoving all the things wrong with the other person's argument down their throat, it makes me smile. It makes me smile big.

When I think of all the time and energy that was wasted in my trying to get this douche to essentially do the right thing, he kept refusing. Flat out refusing to adhere to our company's global compliance standard, which I've been tasked with enforcing. D-bag knew he was wrong, and that he had no argument. Every time he tried to make one, I'd dissect his reasons one by one and factually refute each and every weak excuse he could come up with.

Finally, after getting tired of playing his petty little game, I simply escalated to my senior manager, and the chief compliance officer for his country. And guess what... turns out d-bag needs to play ball, and he's fresh out of excuses, and now all the right (or wrong, depending on how you look at it) people know who this guy is and what a whiny little prick he is.

As I mentioned yesterday, this next #100Days is raw and uncensored... and I may not always have something profound to share during this challenge. But, I can share me, and the things that bring a smile to my face, and the things that frustrate me. At first, this was very frustrating as this dude was digging in his heels and flat out refusing for his department to follow global policy because he thought he was too special and too important to have to.

Well, today, he was brought down to size, and I was able to see it. Perhaps being an asshole makes me evil, but my sense of justice is very strong. Always has been. I can't stand seeing other assholes just do what they want and get away with it. This time the Universe did provide some of the justice this world sorely lacks.

Yes, it feels good, and perhaps that makes me just as petty as him. However, I'm only sharing this with you, and not rubbing his nose in it, because I know how to be gracious, even patient. And that's what it took here. Patience to try everything I could and remain calm, and then patience while I let senior management handle the rest, not knowing if they would cave or not. Given most companies hate confrontation, d-bags usually win out.

So, yeah, I'm an asshole, I guess I can be vindictive, and yup, I tend to celebrate a little when I see justice served. But, if people would just do what they know is right in the first place, I wouldn't really need to be any of these things now, would I?

Seriously though, I try to be humble every day, but my inner thoughts are mine. And while I try to be humble and nice, even to those I would rather not, I do try. So, as I write this, I see the duality of me, and it's that duality that keeps me in balance. Can't have pleasure without pain. Happiness without sadness, etc.

Perhaps this is what I need to keep my balance in this world... or just a thin excuse to be nothing more than an asshole.


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