July 9, 2019•641 words
Well, I'm making it official. I'm declaring my 100 Day writing challenge a failure. In my last post I mentioned that I'd make 100 posts, but not in a row. Then, I didn't make any posts after that. Now, if I missed a day or two then posted, it would be one thing. But, in the way I approached this challenge, I didn't take it on as it was meant, and therefore missed out on the potential of growth from it.
So why continue the charade? It didn't work, and that's ok. Because in the time I haven't been writing, I've been doing many things that I can say have added to my fulfillment. I've spent more quality time with my wife, worked on technical projects, home improvement projects, and gave my day job a bit more focus. Overall that time spent just felt good, knowing I wasn't wasting away.
Sure, there were times when I did absolutely nothing except watch TV with the wife, or take in a movie or TV show on my own. But, having choices is probably the most powerful drug that I know of right now. It feels really good. Plus, I tend not to guilt myself (too much) when something slips. I'm human, but also my priorities and even goals can change from day to day.
Writing is definitely important to me, but it's not necessarily the only thing I've got going on. And while I could push myself to do more things in a day, I prefer to keep things at a pace that feels good for me. Maybe this is what "getting older" is all about. As I don't have the fire, or the energy, to accomplish amazing things anymore, I'm content with just accomplishing the things I put on my plate each day.
I guess 'content' is the best way to describe my life right now. I'm not angry with work, I take stock and give gratitude for all I have every day, I strive to treat people better, and I try to be reasonable in all my dealings. As a result, I have that continued inner peace that I've written about before.
There are times that I do worry I might take this "oh, well" attitude too far to the point I'm saying "oh, well" to even the important things, like work and other responsibilities. But at the moment, I don't think that's the case at all. I think I'm just weighing what's truly important for the moment or the day against what can wait and still not suffer. Will my writing suffer if I take some time off from it? I seriously doubt it.
Neither will many of the other things I'd put off because it just wasn't what I wanted to do that day, and wasn't important enough for me to make time for it. Doesn't mean I never got to them, I just got to them when I decided it was time, and not just because it popped up on my radar.
Perhaps some call that "procrastination", but I call it 'selective prioritization'. Some things need to be done right now, others need to be prioritized for later, and still others don't get anything at all because it's just not important enough to give up my time for it. I guess I'm turning into The Dude from Big Lebowski... he always asks, "What's in it for the Dude"? If there isn't much in it in terms of fulfillment that can't answer that question, then I don't abide.
In any case, I have missed writing, and I've missed connecting with you. But that just makes it all the more sweeter when I get back to doing the things I love again after a nice break; preventing resentment of the thing I otherwise love doing. I hope you are well.