I’m Uncomfortable with Being Comfortable Being Uncomfortable...

When does one lose their drive? Their passion?
Do I have a passion? I’m not sure that I do.
I know I can be passionate about things…About doing things…
But what is that singular thing that propels me through the universe? Do I need one?

I’m grasping for something, some sort of control over my life.

I’ve lived vicariously through others art and projects for my entire life.

Why am I afraid to live my own life?

I want to stand apart so that I can stand together and collaborate with others, because that’s the proven method in creation.

One can go it alone, but it simply takes more time, more energy, less iterations and more focus on superfluous detail, loss of the vision/the bigger picture.

What is this roadblock that prevents me from diversifying my portfolio?

Some people say I enjoy being the smartest person in the room, or that I want to be the smartest person in the room.

This will obviously be my downfall.

How do I reset my fucking brain

Mental gymnastics
I thought the brain was plastic
Every neuron dies
Slowly as it calcifies
Rip it out my skull
Smash it against the hull
It’s My christening,
But I’m not listening
to anyone
because
I think
I have all the answers
YOU AINT GOT THE ANSWERS

Is it cancer? This unexplainable feeling
Should I take some time for healing?