Deconstructing My Actions

There's a fly in my room.

I am laying down on the couch reading a book, as a fly circles around, bashing itself into the window next to me.

My first thought: remove the fly.

Fortunately i only have to lift my arm and rotate a handle which opens the window.

The fly ceases its bashing and settles on the now open window. It's freedom is within grasp, but it now seems calm and content to just hang out.

I lay on the couch watching it slowly walk up the glass pane.

Several thoughts go through my mind:

All I have to do is get up and blow the fly off the window, and this situation would be resolved.

but alas, I am comfortable on this couch, and frankly I am not interested in putting much effort into giving this fly his freedom.

But why don't I want to get up?

Well, my body aches and getting up takes a small bit of effort which this fly didn't earn of me

come to think of it, I am actually quite enjoying this moment of peace, watching this fly intently crawl up the glass, the sunlight and fresh air seeping in

I now begin to enjoy the ambience of the outside . the birds gently chirping, a plane taking off in the distance, it's engines rumbling, the slight rustle of leaves in the wind.

I continue to watch the fly, to which it has now stopped and found a resting place at the top of the window.

Another fly zips in through the open window.

fuck
~

but, this is a beautiful and profound moment, somehow?

My analysis paralysis has gotten the best of me

My inaction and unwillingness to resolve the situation has multiplied this problem by a factor of 2.

A fire has been lit inside me.

I am inspired to take control.

I proceed to get up from the couch, i target fly #1 in my sights

breath leaves my lungs in a gentle, but direct blow, as if to say to the fly: "i don't want to hurt you, but this place isn't your home, and I need you to leave, and don't come back"

fly #1 tumbles off into the ether from which it came

fly #2's location is now unknown, and I am willing to accept it as a loss.

What does this moment say about who i am as a person?