So Badly

Do I want to wallow in self pity and despair

It feels so good to want to give up
To let go of everything
To forget having to grasp at this endless loop

I want to move to a farm

But at the same time I don’t want to be the person that talks about all of the would-be ideas they had

All of the things that could have been

And be just a piece of shit human

In search of nothing becoming nothing will yield nothing