levin

It is screaming at me Calling my name I can feel it in my chest I want to answer more than ever I have to stay It’s too soon to give up There is too much yet to come But I want to go ...

Mind is pain Nobody listens Because of a pretty house and plentiful things ...

Perhaps sex is something divine. It is the embodiment of love and life and has the potential for the greatest torture and anguish. What better symbol of god than the same thing that creates life being that which can completely destroy it. That may explain its extreme prevalence in the religious text of the Abrahamic religions. In the Old Testament/Tanakh, sex and fertility are often the main subject in all things related to humanity. Further, this could explain why many men seem to be inca...

Until this week, I thought I didn’t like people anymore and had no idea how to build a life that didn’t disgust me. I looked around at everyone and was like “They don’t have what I want. I can’t do life like that,” but I was simultaneously drawn to the pictures of Hemingway and Kurt Cobains’ lives a peaceful picture of leaving a positive impact before escaping the pain. Thankfully, I was able to realize depression was the cause of the discontentment with the pictures of peoples’ lives (becau...

I have been listening to a lot of Nirvana recently because I find comfort in knowing Kurt Cobain felt something like I do. I actually can't really listen to anything that isn't full of anguish. I know he was disturbed by some of the same things too. I am not convinced anyone alive would truly understand because I am so close to the edge. I found myself in a trance staring over the edge of a five story railing at my office, like I couldn't peel myself away. I know where I would do it too, but...

A year and a half ago, my best friend in the whole world disappeared from our lives without real explanation. She's alive, but unreachable. Shortly after, I dealt with my childhood sexual abuse for the first time and heard horrors of sexual violence from someone I loved. I would wonder if I should've shot myself that day back in 2020. I wanted to die, but I got through it then. Fast forward to three months ago, my next-in-line best friend of a decade lost his grip on reality while his famil...

I have lost my god my two best friends my girlfriend any hope of a life worth living The only comforting thing is the thought of death But I know I am not seeing clearly I am lost in the fog and darkness I can't believe there will be an end to this Even though I know I am wrong I am stuck here for now ...