Close your eyes And open your mind. Look to the sky And see: A magical land Of aquatic man, Living peacefully Beneath the sea. The capitalist pigs, All counting their twigs, Don't want you To know the truth: That beneath the waves, The gleeful mermaids Bathe in eternal youth. They'll all call you names Like mad or insane... Dear friend, Don't you think twice. For one day we'll find Our seafaring kind In ATLANTIS, Lost Paradise. ...

I wear a watch around my ankle To tell time when I tie my shoes. Time can be told at any angle, Yes, any old angle you choose! It can be told if you're right-way up, It can be told if you're upside down, It can be told if you're downside up, It can be told if you're wrong-way down. Sometimes I tell time at twenty degrees. Sometimes I tell time when I'm on my knees. Sometimes I don't even tell time, you see, Sometimes time tells me! How would you tell time if you were a goat In a boat, set afl...

Is the pleasure in the chewing or the swallowing? ...

Last night, my car Was hit by a cat! Unrelated to that, My poor Uncle John Once choked on a scone. What a world! What a world! How was he supposed to know How hastily to eat pastry, Or, indeed, how slow? Oh! I just thought I'd mention My grandmother's pension – Now that she's getting old, Nothing's changed, I'm told. What is love anyway? Anyway, Thanks for listening. One last thing 'fore you go, Unrelated to that, Do you happen to know How to clean car off a cat? ...

The fear of superstition is a superstition. ...

The rhinos, the rhinos, The rhinos are dead. I don't understand, Did they not see the red Horn on my car? How bizarre! Well, I tried, O! I tried, I tried to curtail The harvesting of Their face fingernails, But despite all my efforts, No rhino was spared, Though I do hope you know Just how much I cared, And now that they're gone, At least I can say To my children, Dear children: It's not my fault, okay? ...

Mrs. Guise always lies About the filling of her pies And little boys, who aren't so wise To the ploys of Mrs. Guise, Are in for quite a bad surprise – They're full of flippin' spider thighs! ...

I've never known a dobermann Whose owner was a sober man. Something about that bastard dog Drives its masters to the grog; So I ate mine and bought a hog. ...

Why say Tuesday is Tuesday & tonight is Tuesday night? Why not Tuesnight is Tuesnight & today was Tuesnight day? Why do we speak in a sun-centric way? Is it 'cause we sleep when it's dark & wake up when it's light? Suppose we didn't sleep at all. What would days be called? ...

This poem's about pudding, Yes, pudding, I said! It's a pudding poem Made of rhyme soaked bread, A bread pudding poem, Yes, pudding, said I! It's a poem pudding Made of bread soaked in rhyme, A bread poem pudding, Though, it should be said, This poem about pudding Is a bit short of bread. ...