May 24, 2022•166 words
[Stream of Consciousness - SC]
I am tired to be a leader. I am exhausted.
I am tired of being anxious about not meeting the deadline and not succeeding in the project.
I am tired of trying to drag my teammates to try harder or to help think.
I am tired of trying to make sure things are not going to turn south.
I am tired of trying to get everything to go in according to plan.
I am tired of trying to always initiate.
I am angry when I have to be unhappy, anxious, and worried, when others just don't seem to care, when they just seem to chill, take their time, enjoy their moment, and just wait to follow.
I just want to give up.
I want to just stop thinking.
I am not blaming anyone.
Maybe I am just a bed leader.
Maybe I should not try to lead anyone.
Maybe I should never work with anyone.
Maybe I should just work alone.