releasing

I'm increasingly getting the sense that in order to continue healing and growing (whatever those words mean in an overall psycho-spiritual sense), I can't hold onto anything. Anything that's been said, done, thought, felt, believed, explored, experienced, absorbed, received, lost, even cherished. Like leaves on a tree, it all needs to be continuously let go of to make room for the growth of the new. Anything that's held onto seems to rot in time, eventually festering and stunting growth. What was once beautiful becomes ugly and warped if it isn't released.

Writing here is interesting because I can see it unfolding on a certain level. When I'm in the process of feeling certain emotions and expressing the thoughts that are emerging from or alongside them, it's clear to me that none of it should be held onto. Much of it is emerging from feelings of pain and confusion that I've carried for years. I can almost see the energetic difference between them. Some thoughts have a lightness and purity to them while others are muddy or heavy. They emerge from different spaces, different inner states and aspects, and so have different qualities.

Either way, nothing can be bypassed. It all needs to be moved through and experienced fully. Welcomed, experienced and then released, allowing this riverlike process to continue unabated. Remaining a conduit for it, an impartial observer/experiencer of it. Letting it wash through without clinging to any of it.