ways

I often find myself torn in two directions. One basically leads to a Winnie the Pooh-esque way of living in which I'm not bothering with much beyond filling my rumbly tumbly with yummy honey and enjoying whatever little adventures and lessons unfold each day. While the other involves proactively engaging with the world by my own volition and putting in the work to refine and fulfill my potential in it.

I really can't seem to decide, though maybe a decision isn't actually as necessary or relevent as it can seem in my thoughts. It's just a tension that returns to me. Whether to sit back or lean in. Whether to wander or pursue. Whether to let go and let be or seek out and rise to some higher purpose.

Ultimately, any choice I try to make via egoic thinking will likely be inaccurate and limited. A fantasy conjured in the air that I can invest with meaning to activate desirable feelings.

Que sera sera, and such.