shaping

It's interesting to consider how one's life experience shapes them into the person they become, leads them towards the kinds of things they end up being interested in and influences how they perceive life as a whole. Looking back at my life as I have been lately, it's clearer to me how certain things and perspectives came to be. It's easy to look back and say that it was shit and unfair but there's another way to look at it too. That all of it were necessary aspects of some incalculable process to make me who I am and will be. A collection of coding coming together to shape this particular avatar/expression.

For what end? I likely won't ever know the scope of it. But I do know that I've gone through life influencing others and, consciously or not, became part of the process shaping them and the world around me. Everywhere I go and everyone I meet is altered by coming into contact with me just as I am by coming into contact with them. It impacts the coding and overall trajectory of each individual, even if only slightly. Simply by coming into awareness and influencing thoughts and feelings. Whether taking a role in the forefront or just hovering somewhere unseen in the background, it all has an impact.

So, in that context, there's nothing to begrudge and nothing to fear. Nothing to hold onto and nothing to seek. It's all just energy colliding and melding and growing growing growing into...something totally beyond me and my individual experiences. Those still matter, and I still matter, in the same way everything else does simply by virtue of existing. But there's a lot going on beyond just my own perspectives. There's more to see and more to do. There's more to shape and be shaped by. There's a mystery continuing to unfold.