jan15

Sometimes it's good to remember how awesome life is without all the baggage and desires. Just being alive. Having a healthy and comfortable body. Seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling, feeling, dancing, singing. All these are available here now. Why so much fear of loss and hunger for more? It's greedy, really greedy.

And it's all in the body/mind. Thoughts and feelings. I want that [thought/feeling], I don't want to lose this [thought/feeling]. Reality is going on around these thoughts and feelings. It's not what it seems to be.

Most days I meet people and we're essentially complaining and commiserating in various ways because we don't feel we have enough. Don't feel we are enough. It's pathetic, really, how ungrateful and greedy we are. It's a sickness. We're brainwashed. Unable to appreciate and enjoy except in rare moments before the thoughts and feelings fire back up.

Thoughts and feelings, thoughts and feelings. Not enough, need more, not enough, need more!

It won't make the thoughts and feelings go away. The object of desire/fear will just change and the process will continue. On and on it'll go until finally we're released in death, still unhappy and unfulfilled because we were looking for happiness and fulfillment in others and things, or rather in projected ideas of them. But happiness and fulfillment are intrinsic, waiting underneath the thoughts and feelings that obscure them. Thoughts in the mind that stir discomfort in the body, and vice versa. It's so simple, really.

Am I going to keep running miserably after/away from this shifting mirage my whole life? Or am I going to see through it and finally accept being and having enough right now, more than enough, no matter what? That Life is and has always been overflowing with bounties and I'm just failing to appreciate and enjoy them? This body, this mind, these senses, these clothes, this device, this food, this music, this room, this light, this warmth, this world, these people, these wonders, these mysteries. So much of all of it, so much variety, and it's still not enough?? Man...it's really pathetic.

Tonight I'm going to appreciate it all. Even if only for tonight before the old wiring kicks back in. Tonight I'll appreciate all that I am/have.