Day 5

Unfortunately in life and love it is highly likely that someone at somepoint, whom you love deeply, is going to abandon you.
It wont make sense to you; often they themselves might not fully understand why they're leaving.

In these moments it is near impossible to consider that anything in the world could ever make sense again without the person you love.
No matter how much you analyse each moment, you will never truly know the entire reason why they had to leave -
Until you can accept this; you will continue to hurt. You will notice the way your mind blames itself.

You are helplessly watching the unravelling belief that you have control; at all; of anything.

it's easier to suggest that the problem is within you.

Maybe if you could just find the part of you which must be so damaged to have caused your lover to turn away - then you could repair it. Show them you have changed.

Theres nothing wrong though, with you, or them. Denial of this will ensure that you remain stuck in place; nothing can make sense again if you continue looking inward, tearing your insides apart to find the explanation you so desperately need - the defect you must contain - the refusal to let go of control. The denial of the one and only truth - that nothing is up to you.

You will never know if it was your fault; but I am able to tell you with sincerity that things just fall apart some times. The idea that any scenario could stem from a single persons bad decision is evidently unrealistic. No matter where you look, you will find that it is too complex to determine the causation in regards to anything. Things just happen.

In order to continue forwards you must focus on comprehending the notion that sometimes there is nobody to blame.

Everything is as it is. I am; You are.