Knowing Yourself

You must find out how to know yourself, truly.

Through self-analysis and introspection. By acknowledging and contemplating how each specific situation makes you feel;

What makes you uncomfortable?

What makes you happy?

What is good, and what is bad? How can you tell? What are the characteristics that allow you to differentiate the two? Is it all rationalisation, or do you feel the physiological sensations too?

These are all the defining borders of who you might be.

Unfortunately it isn't so easy to take the time to know yourself.

This unawareness of self and worth and boundaries is exactly the exacerbating problem you're trying to fix. Until you take a moment to stop, you will be behaving in a reactive manner at all times, without any consideration of self or for others. You reflect upon the disintegration of each relationship you've experienced. You're not "good" or "bad", but neither are they.

Nurturing the frame of mind which allows for openness and acceptance is the only way for you to accept your wrongs, forgive, and let go. This does not equate to self-betterment. Unfortunately, behaviour change is difficult; especially those responses that are reflexive, innate, and defensive.

Typically, when operating without awareness we will accept the constant violation of our boundaries because we don't even know what they are. If this has always been the default mode, you'll never notice how your sense of self has been shaped by giving your time to the ones you’ve always known, who treat you how you’ve always been.

As you continue unconsciously, the boundaries of who you are and who you’re not are warped by those who've surrounded you. When you start to notice the patterns, you will realise that mostly, you did not choose these people.

It is up to no one but yourself to decide who you are. Do not forfeit your right to agency.

Who do you tolerate for reasons you aren't even aware of? If you didn't have to speak to this person again, would you ever even think of them? In what ways do you allow your time to be wasted? In what ways do you waste your own time?

Why are you unable to trust your intuitions?