20211213

Today so far, has been filled with fear. I'm scared of what's supposed to happen; what the future is meant to be; where I will go wrong repeating old habits; how much I'd like to not fail myself but how much I always do.

How little understanding of myself I actually have.

I'm delusional; living in falsehood - I'm aware of it but it's too hard to accept the alternatives.

It's hard not to hate yourself. How could I approach someone like this with compassion?

Don't look at things in black and white. Follow the advice you choose to spit at everyone else for just one day and see if your life improves.