the kirkyard

@thekirkyard

Male. 67. West Tennessee. #100Days

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Day 44: Opening The Door

I'm afraid of opening the door to my deck this morning. No, not afraid, I don't know what the word would be. I'm hoping that Snugglepuss has given up the ghost, so to speak. It would absolve me of making the decision.

I'm emotionally ragged. For those such as me, emotions are like pure bleach. At full strength they eat away at our presence or place in the world. Not that we ever had a place.
Empathetic depressives exist in the world. They don't really live in it. We are on the outside looking in. Never quite understanding how others calmly go about taking a breath and smiling each day.

Well, enough of the deep maudlin. Let's get real.

My head feels less "crazy" this morning. I took magnesium last night, which I had forgotten to take for 2 or 3 nights. Helps the sleep. And I also doubled my 5-htp. I've been taking that for many years. Again for sleep. And it possibly helps with my mood. No. I know it does.

Lately my posts are more and more personal. I know. Well, after all it is sorta like my journal. And I choose to let it be out there.

I guess I've had enough coffee.

Time to open the door...

More later. There's always more later.


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