journal, day 10

7:08pm
I almost forgot to do this. I woke up on time but went back to sleep. I had an appointment at 11:20am for my job. It was a really quick scan of a few things but it bothered me a lot that I was late. It made me really nervous and incredibly unhappy.

My day itself has been pretty average. There isn't much to say for it, it wasn't bad. Though, it is my little sister's birthday. She turned fifteen today.

Earlier today, my baby sister's fish died. My mom cleaned the tank because one got caught in the filter and after she cleaned it the other three died. Jordin was really sad. I'm not really the best at comforting people, I told her it'd be okay.

I remember that last night I was meant to watch Kingsman 2 with my friend and my partner. Me and my friend decided on waiting because it was late and my partner couldn't join due to the internet. I'm okay with waiting. I think my partner felt a bit bad because we couldn't watch it last night. But, I don't mind waiting and neither did my friend.

I think that I'm going to start writing things for my characters on this too, though, they would be on private posts. I feel a bit shy to actually publicly post about characters in writing and not just drawing them. I'm pretty confident in my abilities to write, just not confident enough for it to be public.

I also find that I'm really passionate about games. As in, I really like them as there own standalone things. I really like indie games a lot. I wish they didn't get compared to one another so much. I especially like horror games and generally just horror. I really, really like resident evil and I think my favorite genre of horror is sci-fi or creature features, especially zombies.

7:22pm
I think my issue with learning to code is that I tried to jump right into it. I don't really know how to pace myself. I try really hard to, but then I start piling on other things I want to learn. I want to learn how to do a lot of stuff but I'm not sure what to start with. I want to do a few different things with what I know and what I want to learn.

I'm not sure if it'd be better for me to learn in a class setting or if it'd be better for me to try on my own. I really want to get better at self discipline and whether I'm in a class setting or not, it won't be easy. So, I really want to try to learn on my own at first. Schooling can be a last ditch effort, especially considering I do not have the money.

7:37pm
I think I will watch a few videos on where to start and some tutorials and such. I'm gonna get ready for bed early I think. Not much is happening and I'm not sure if we're gonna watch the second kingsman movie tonight. I don't believe anyone is available for that right now, so I will just wait until tomorrow and ask again unless someone messages.

Right now though, I just want to sit in my bed and watch videos about game design and development.

3/7/22