journal, day 13

I woke up when I was meant to! Just got to typing late. I can’t stop sweating. I am afraid to be outside even when I am with people. I still go out but it makes me nervous and kind of uncomfortable. I don’t hate leaving the house it’s just hard for me. It’s not even solely because of people, it’s also because I’m just outside; People being around me does make it worse.

I’m very sweaty now and I kind of am ready to just go home. We will in a few.

I’m not really good at participating in things with others, even if I like them. I’m not very good at talking sometimes and it makes me feel bad.

I can’t explain this very well.

I feel like an intruder if I join in conversations even if it’s something I like. None of my current friends have made me feel that way. But it’s been consistent enough with Other people that I don’t really try anymore.

It’s just anxiety.

I know I’m not very nice to myself. I don’t show myself the same care I try to with others. I’m trying. It’s really hard.

I don’t think I really have anything else to say for today. I will upload this early.


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