journal, day 15

11:21am
I woke up at the right time despite my alarm not having gone off. I turned the ringer off the night before so I could sleep in. I didn't have the best night last night. My mood has just been steadily dropping but I'm okay today. It was raining when I woke up and I decided to sleep in just a bit more.

I don't really have a plan for today. I'm watching videos about renaissance art. I think I'll try to find some black history sources as well and also break into the language and linguistic files that I've got.

9:18pm
I feel bad because I told my friends I'd be okay to call. But, I was not okay to call, surprise. I woke up and just felt incredibly awful. I dissociate so much that I don't feel any of my emotions and when they're too strong regardless of the emotion it starts to freak me out. I think I may have been doing this for so long that I haven't experienced the full range of my emotions.

I will be okay.

3/12/22

forgot to post this lol

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