Sleeping Sussy | Mo 11/21

Woke up for an early meeting, but the team wants me to follow along with the exercises the next newest team members are being assigned. It's a little bit sad, but I suppose it'll keep me busy and I'll get to learn. Nicole and I also set up the automation utility repo, but she was too busy to pair program the beginning of it so I was mostly chilling. I should definitely have been working, but I napped for a while on accident after lunch without the headphones trick. Terrified, I eventually logged back in and realized that I should use my laptop to log into work so that I can use my desktop while looking available. Thankfully I didn't get called out or anything, but lesson learned.

Other than that I was getting lost in Left 4 Dead for hours again. It really is a bad habit to get sucked into games since they can be such a time sink and are very convenient. At least volleyball has designated times and places to play.

I've also been seeing the badminton chat a lot lately. They organize several times to play every week, but they also do other things like different sports, events like going to clubs, and spontaneous lunches. Even though I'm pretty sure the average age in the badminton group is higher than that of the the Haikyuu group, the level of activity and seeming free time that members have would suggest otherwise. I feel like a boring busy adult when I have to pass on a lot of the things they're doing, mostly because it conflicts with volleyball or is far away.

I went to volleyball at Sara's church with her and Jinn, and it was a great time tonight. It was busy, probably since many people are back in town and off from school or work, but the liveliness was fun to be a part of. I played alright, not especially good or bad, but Sara recommended that I ice and stretch my fingers soon after playing. She also told me not to use my right thumb, which means that blocking and setting will be funky looking for a bit, but I'm willing to do it if it means getting fixed.

Also while playing I swear I saw Doug Hui, but I didn't say anything. It's been crazy seeing people from the past recently: Doug tonight, Linh Hoa last week at rock climbing, and I think Mia Rho at Slander. Now that I think about it, I'm probably pretty down on people in general since I didn't reach out to any of them to say hello or confirm their identities. I guess I'd rather be comfortable in my own space nowadays.

Just now I was talking to Adrian and he agrees that people can be confusing and behave irregularly, also noting that relationships can vary a lot too. I guess as tempting as it is to think that people are rational and predictable, they just aren't. Same goes with relationships since they involve people. It's a little bit concerning, but I guess these truths are kind of comforting too. Everyone else is just as lost as I am, whether they know and/or recognize it or not.

Now that I think about it recent events have made me see the chaotic nature to people and life that was always there. I guess I didn't see it or care much months ago when I just wanted to make friends and wasn't burned or made wary of people yet. I may have just forgotten about all those things during my hermit phase though, since I enjoyed running from it all by moving away from people after both high school and college. It looks like the same troubles come back over the years now that I think about it. Maybe I need to try changing my thinking about it all.