i didn't take my meds
i didn't sleep right
my head is killing me
feeling the sting of self harm
except not the Real kind
just the attention seeking kind
scratches and bruises

at least that's what my college roommate would tell me
she was very worried about attention seeking
and would fish it out of any situation whether it existed or not

but really i did it to shut my brain off for a minute
to stop the intrusive thoughts
to have that one thing to focus on

I'm tired of existing
the contradictions are too much

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