February 4, 2021•233 words
I am working hard, constantly, but getting nowhere.
Despite my organizational efforts, my task management and knowledge management systems (among many others) have made no progress. I have poured hours and hours into research, trying new tools, downloading apps, listening to podcasts, and I am still working in the same disorganized way that I used to. My post from two days ago, Zettelkasten - 50 is an example of this. I have begun numerous projects upon which I have made little progress. I hate being busy but I cause myself to be it anyway. I have given presentations to friends to try to get them on board with ideas, only to find out that they have forgotten about it the next day.
I have come to terms with the fact that things do not work the way that I do. I will have to build my own tools in order to feel fully in control... but I don't have the fucking time to build tools for myself when I am on a roller coaster with my current workload.
Everything just feels futile. I may just be suffering from night-induced dystopianism, but it doesn't look like I'll make any real progress anytime soon.
See you tomorrow for something better. Actually, maybe that's what I should be saying to myself every time I get like this. Hopefully things trend toward the more optimistic outcome.