Quiet Perspective

I observe it all the time. I run into a friend or acquaintance around town, ask them how their week is going, and hear the typical, brave response, "I'm fine. Doing great." Yet I hear the weakness in their voice as they say it, and I catch a micro-glimpse of sadness across their face. I'm sure the "Going great" reply is either to prevent me from inquiring further or to convince themselves that they're doing fine. But, I'm trying not to wear that mask. I'll be honest with you. Today I'm tired. ...

Earlier this week I had the opportunity to take part in a service project benefiting the community food bank. I was among 20 or so volunteers who made their way out of town to a home out in the sticks. Lots of acreage. Wide open spaces. Turns out the homeowner was gracious enough to let us pick from their extensive rows of blueberry plants, most of them over seven feet tall. For one hour, we picked perfectly ripe blueberries in clumps off the branches. The picture above shows the actual flat o...

Back in 2015, I had an opportunity drop in my lap. An opportunity to become a certified consultant for a very popular software application used by millions of people around the world. I've used this software application extensively for over 5 years, relied upon it for professional and personal tech information, and have taught a class on this software for beginners. This opportunity would give me increased publicity about my skills as a technologist. I would see increased freelance tech gigs wit...

During the summer of 1991, I was a typical 18-year-old, recently graduated from high school, excited about attending college for the first time, and had a job waiting tables for a family-style restaurant in my small hometown. On Sunday nights, from 10 pm until closing at midnight, the restaurant's usual soft rock radio station wasn't playing Sting, Bette Midler, and Whitney Houston. It played this weird-sounding, spacey music. I kind of chuckled and raised an eyebrow as I listened to the music w...

I rarely touch my phone when I drive, so I didn't consult Google Maps before heading home when I picked up my daughter from cross-country practice. As soon as I turned onto the on-ramp, whammo, big traffic backup. Quite unusual for a Thursday rush hour in Bellingham, Washington. What normally takes 15 minutes took us 45 minutes to get home. Here's the problem. As three lanes of traffic were inching along the interstate, some drivers chose to drive on the shoulder, passing cars waiting in line i...

When I was a lanky, loner of a pre-teen growing up in Sequim, Washington, summers were pretty carefree. I wasn't of the age yet where a summer job would occupy a warm weekday. Instead, I'd probably be on my bike riding around the back roads of town, going to the little league fields to toss a baseball up and try and smack it over the outfield fence with an old wooden bat my parents found at a garage sale. However, any creative outdoor activity I was doing would halt at 3 pm. More like 3:12 pm....

I grew up wanting it all in the 1980s. I had to have all of the Transformers; autobots, decepticons, dinobots, you name it. I tried to collect all the baseball cards in the world; complete sets and doubles of my favorite players. All the video game cartridges to stick in my Texas Instruments TI99–4A computer. All the sports digest magazines. You get the idea. This mindset exploded like a microwave popcorn bag in my 20s decade. I was out of college, making a good salary, and living the good lif...

For those of you that achieve inbox zero on a daily basis and enjoy a stress-free work environment, consider yourself lucky. The rest of us have jobs with emails constantly bombarding us during the day, distracting us from our work. Thanks to a huge plate of tasks to attend to, email creates overwhelm at times and leads to the wrong kind of stress. Sometimes this stress spills over into making wrong decisions with our email. These wrong decisions can eventually create more work for us and so...

How’s this for a day gone bad? You spilled your morning coffee over the center panel in your car on your way to work. In traffic. With no napkins around. Horrible meetings with passive-aggressive co-workers or supervisors. You got blindsided by unexpected complaint emails. It took 40 minutes to get your lunch meal served. To top it off, the waiter messed up your order. On the way back to the office you dropped your phone on the pavement, almost cracking the screen. Nothing but tedious projects...

Quiet can be unfamiliar. With a life dominated by noise, distractions, and chaos we don’t remember what it sounds like. Quiet can feel tense, like a close-up shot in a suspenseful movie where we don’t know if the person is going to get attacked by surprise. Quiet can be awkward. We may avoid the quiet so we don’t have to confront our own thoughts. Quiet can be lonely, where you realize no one is there to keep you company. I like the quiet because my brain can process what has happened during...

Recently I had the opportunity to listen to a fellow named Rich Warriner speak about relationships. When he shared the following statement, I had to whip out my phone and jot it down for future thought: When I put on a mask, the only thing that gets loved is the mask. Growing up, I learned it wasn't safe to show people who I genuinely was. Kids in school were (and still are) really mean to each other. Co-workers will take information you share about yourself and leverage it to their advant...

Every now and then you encounter someone who communicates exactly what you're thinking or feeling. It's unexpectedly refreshing. It's somewhat empowering because you feel like you're not alone in your situation; someone actually "gets" you. Most importantly it's relieving, because now you don't have to carry the burden solely on your shoulders. In my case, I discovered an article written by an anonymous author overseas. They nailed it. It was almost as if my water-logged heavy blanket was lifted...

I spend a majority of my waking hours dwelling on the T-word. Technology. It’s been a lifelong passion, at least since I was eight. It’s been my career for over twenty years. It’s something I’m pretty good at. Unfortunately, too much of the T-word has resulted in the O-word. Overwhelm. Constantly bombarded with breaking news, notifications, and ads. It’s a shame, because The O-word creates resentment with the T-word because the T-word used to be the F-word. Fun. Back when the T-word was the F-...

Everyone has a friend, or a family member, who is a computer tech. The awkward teenage nephew who always has his nose in his phone during family events. Your significant other’s quirky friend who always wears t-shirts with obscure pictures and phrases when the group goes out to dinner. Your own friend who always has a can of Monster energy drink in their hand and rambles incessantly about Linux server distros. They are valuable people to have available when your computer breaks down or gets real...

Originally published on December 1, 2016 Quiet can be unfamiliar. With a life dominated by noise, distractions, and chaos we don’t remember what it sounds like. Quiet can feel tense, like a close-up shot in a suspenseful movie where we don’t know if the person is going to get attacked by surprise. Quiet can be awkward. We may avoid the quiet so we don’t have to confront our own thoughts. Quiet can be lonely, where you realize no one is there to keep you company. I like the quiet because m...

I refer to it as the “aunch.” It isn’t a friend of mine. In fact, it’s my worst enemy. The aunch purposely sits in front of me, blocking my view of life. A wonderful life. A blessed life. Quite frankly, a better life than I deserve. It looks directly at me, smirking like an arrogant bully on a playground. It knows when I’m trying to look past it, and mirrors my movements to block my sight. I want to punch it right in the smirk, but it absorbs all impact. And it actually smiles more when I get ...

For over two decades, I was a silent vigilante. An anonymous protector and defender of the rules which govern society. I didn’t have a cape or superhuman powers. I didn’t have a sidekick. However, I had a special ability that most people didn’t have. I prevented drivers in the right-hand lane from getting in front of me in the left lane when it came time to merge. It didn’t matter if it was a beat up Dodge minivan full of kids or a convertible Mustang with three gorgeous, women in bikini tops ...

They say you should buy this new thing, then they will think you’re cool. They will think you’re ugly if you don’t have six-pack abs, tanned skin, and toned muscles. They don’t want you to speak up, otherwise you’ll make things awkward for others. They don’t want you to be nice to that person because they look different than the rest of us. They will say that big person nearby is going to hurt you, so don’t trust them. They are all gonna laugh at you. They will think that personal, handmad...

Rare is the conversation where one boasts how much free time they have available. It seems to be commonplace, and in some cases a badge of honor, to lament how busy one’s life is. Most of our meetings with friends or co-workers involve the same chat flow. How you are doing, how is the week going, how busy you are, how cherished is that out-of-the-ordinary experience that was outside of work or the daily routine. I can’t think of the last time where someone shared with me a moment of insight they...

Back in high school, I attended Evergreen Boys State, a week-long conference for young men sponsored by the American Legion. A fabulous keynote speaker said this during this conference: I will do what I say I will do when I say I will do it.” C.G. “Coke” Roberts, Green River Community College This phrase has stuck with me ever since. It gives me purpose in my life. It inspires me be responsible to myself and others. I feel an increased sense of honor when I live by this maxim. While I sli...

Sing along if you know the words. Someone says something to you that you weren’t expecting. It catches you off guard, and what they said hurt your feelings. You feel embarrassed or ashamed. Doesn’t matter if the person is family, a friend, or an acquaintance at work. Doesn’t matter if it’s done on purpose or on accident. You’re angry at them, and now your world is clouded with negativity. Perhaps you’re even in revenge mode, calculating how you can respond to hurt them back. InsideOutAnger I s...

Somewhere along the way we allowed others to speak into our lives. Somewhere along the way we listened to “them” more than “us.” It’s time to take back what is rightfully ours. Permission to place ourselves at a higher priority than our work. Permission to believe in something even though others may disapprove. Permission to not be afraid of society, even though we suffer from the memories of the past. Permission to allow others to love us, even though we may not feel worthy of receiving love....

At one point in my life, I owned a huge bookcase stuffed full of books. I bought them online or at used bookstores. Lots of reference manuals, technical guides, and obscure compendia. Big coffee table books on science, mythology, mathematics, zen mindsets, and lots more. Lots of eyebrow-raising subject matter, and loads of knowledge available to be learned. Unfortunately, this bookcase contained a dirty little secret. I never read those books on my bookshelf. You see, I was trying to impress p...

Originally published on February 25, 2016 I tried something abnormal this morning. I went for a walk without my anchor. It was low on fuel, so I left it in the dock. I felt a slight twinge of anxiety without having my anchor nearby, but I ventured out anyway. Today was a crisp, brisk, end-of-winter morning, but sunny enough where I could wear my sunglasses in public without looking pretentious. My walk was about a mile in distance round trip. Normally, my anchor provides sound to my ears, so ...

May we experience more of this. ...